Online
by whiteflower213
Summary: WARNING: Contains randomness, online chatting, rainbow mullet wigs, and bloodthirsty manatees, with a little bit (or a lot) of love sprinkled in from time-to-time. Read at your own risk.
1. After School

**So this is what happens when I'm bored in math class. Just a bunch of randomness made up by my head.**

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ is online_

_**Kim A. Crawford**__ is online_

"_**The Playa" Eddie**__ is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ is online_

_**JackarateB**__ is online_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Milton, you are WRONG! (:

**JackarateB:** Milton's wrong?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **But he's _never_ wrong!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** What's going on?

**Milton David Krupnick:** I am _not _wrong.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yes you are! I talked to our teacher and Lamarck's theory was _wrong._

**JackarateB: **Wait, Lamarck? Like, that guy that we were talking about in Biology?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **?

**Milton David Krupnick:** Look, Kim, Lamarck was right!

**Kim A. Crawford: **So you're saying, if I dye my hair purple and pink, and Jack dyes his hair red and blue, and we have a child, it will have rainbow clown hair?

**JackarateB:** Clown hair?! Kim, we're giving _that _kid up for adoption.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Kim, that's not my point.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Wait, you guys are having clown babies? I knew you guys had a thing! (; I've gotta go get my rainbow mullet wig so I can be a clown uncle!

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ logged off at 8:38_

**Kim A. Crawford: **O.O

"**The Playa" Eddie:** Awkwaaard!

**JackarateB:** He really has a mullet clown wig?!

**Kim A. Crawford: **I guess so.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **So wait, you and Jack have a thing now?

**Kim A. Crawford:** Whaaaat? Nooooo.

**JackarateB:** Kim you are a_ horrible_ liar.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **So there _is_ something going on! (;

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ is online_

**Kim A. Crawford:** No. There is nothing. I repeat NOTHING.

**JackarateB:** Absolutely Nodda.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Well congratz Kim!

**Kim A. Crawford: **?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Well you and Jack have a thing!

**Kim A. Crawford: **We just told you nothing was going on!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Well then what does nodda mean Kim? I'm not stupid.

**JackarateB: ***Insert face palm*

**Kim A. Crawford: **You are a idiot.

**Milton David Krupnick: **It's _an_ Kim.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Shut it!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Long time no type Milton.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Sorry. I was grabbing my science book to study while I chat with you guys.

**JackarateB:** But we don't have a test for another 2 weeks… /:

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Nerd.

**Milton David Krupnick: **One can never be too prepared!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Suuuure…

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Listen guys, I gotta go, my mom says I've gotta go to bed.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Momma's boy, Momma's boy!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Oooh, I gotta go too! I'm helping my mom paint unicorns! It's swag yo!

"_**The Playa" Eddie**__ logged off at 8:51_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ logged off at 8:52_

**JackarateB: **And he says Eddie's a momma's boy? And why is he painting unicorns in the first place?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Just don't question it. Anyway, I think it's sweet that he's helping his mom!

**JackarateB: **… :/

**Kim A. Crawford:** Shut up Jack. I know you're smirking.

**JackarateB: **You do _not_ know what I'm doing.

**Kim A. Crawford:** No? Well, I can always go downstairs to my sister's window and look into your room.

**JackarateB: **That's just creepy Kim. Ever heard of privacy?

**Kim A. Crawford: **You're just lucky my sister's 5 and has no interest in boys whatsoever or you would _never_ have a moment of privacy! Speaking of privacy, ha! You're a hypocrite!

**JackarateB: **How am _I _a hypocrite?

**Milton David Krupnick:** …

**Kim A. Crawford: **Because you're the only neighbor I've ever known who will randomly wake me up by pouring ice water on my head. At 5 in the morning. On a Saturday. And you didn't even come through the front door.

**Milton David Krupnick:** I think I'll go soon. This is awkward…

**JackarateB: **How do you know I _didn't _use the front door?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack, my mom didn't even know you had been in my house at all that day. And you're lucky.

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ logged off at 9:24_

**JackarateB: **And why would that be Kimmy?

**Kim A Crawford:** Oh, let's see Jackie.

**JackarateB: **Jackie? Not cool.

**Kim A. Crawford: **If my mom knows something, my dad is automatically told. And a boy in my room at 5ish in the morning is _probably_ against the rules.

**JackarateB:** Wuss.

**Kim A. Crawford:** Let's get some things straight. First, no one calls me a wuss. And I mean _no one._ Second, how did you even get into my room?

**JackarateB:** Ever noticed the GIGANTIC WALL of IVY on the side of your house?

**Kim A. Crawford:** Ok, I'll admit that was a dumb question. But you're still stupid.

**JackarateB: **Why? You can't handle this much awesomeness in the morning?

**Kim A. Crawford: **No, Mr. Cocky.

**JackarateB:** Then _what?_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Gee, I don't know! What if, instead of sleeping, I had been, I don't know, TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF?!

**JackarateB: **O.O

**JackarateB:** Eh. Still would've come in.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Pervert.

**JackarateB:** Ouch Kim! Go easy on me! I think I'm wounded!

**Kim A. Crawford:** Whatever.

**JackarateB:** Oooh, do you need an icy wakeup call tomorrow too?

**JackarateB: **Kim, are you giving me the silent treatment?

**JackarateB:** Kim!

**JackarateB: **Kimmy!

**JackarateB:** Kimberly!

**JackarateB:** Kimberly Anne!

**JackarateB:** Kimberly Anne Crawford!

**JackarateB:** Kimmy-cub!

**JackarateB: **Kimmy-bear!

**JackarateB: **Kimmy-cat!

**JackarateB:** Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy!

**JackarateB: **Fine then. You asked for it. I'm coming over. And I'm bringing, (pause for dramatic effect), the Tickle Monster!

**JackarateB: **Your 15 seconds begin _now._ And I know that you can't come out of your room since it's past your curfew! *grins wickedly* I know you _so_ well.

**JackarateB: **15, 14, 13. Coming now!

_**JackarateB**__ logged off at 9:47_

Kim was starting to become scared. There was no way to lock the window! She had broken the latch when she was 9. She ducked under her covers, and then, inspiration struck, and she army crawled under her bed. Then she silently counted in her head.

5, 4, 3, 2—

"Oh Kimmy, Kimmy-cub! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

His soaked socks made their way around her room. They stopped.

"I do believe I see you…"

Then, suddenly, two amused brown eyes met Kim's. He crawled around, grabbed her foot, and dragged her out, despite her protests. He knew that she knew that she couldn't scream. Most of her family was in bed and even if they weren't, if they knew Jack, a _boy,_ was in her room without permission, her dad would have a cow. It didn't help that it was almost 10 PM!

And then the torture came. The evil boy sat on her so that she couldn't move!

"J-Ja-Ja-Jack, q-quit it-it!" She said, trying to breath, talk, and laugh at the same time.

"Say I'm your bestest _and_ hottest fwend in the whole wowld, and that I'm _always_ wight!" He said in his best baby voice, smirking.

Now this was just blackmail. But she really had no other choice.

"Y-you're my b-bes-bestest friend in the who-whole world an-d you're al-always rig-right!"

"You missed a part Kimmy!" He said, going after her feet.

"Aaah!" She whisper-yelled in anguish. "You-re the-th-the hot-hottes-hottest too!" She gasped out, amidst all of the giggling.

"See, that wasn't too hard!" He said, patting her head. He then quickly launched himself out of Kim's window. Smart move. He avoided a _very_ bruised arm.

**Ha. Not too happy with it. If you have any suggestions of what I should write, post them! And I love constructive criticism, so leave that too!**


	2. The Wrath of Cheerleaders and Manatees

**Hi! So first off, before there is any confusion, when I make these, they're not in any specific order, so in some Jack and Kim might be dating, or just friends, or might even hate each other! They're just random.**

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ is online_

_**CheerGurl **__is online_

_**"****The Playa" Eddie**__ is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ is online_

_**JackarateB**__ is online_

**JackarateB:** Hey guys!

**CheerGurl: **Ahem!

**JackarateB: **And, um, Grace.

**"The Playa" Eddie: **So Grace, what brings you to our chat page?

**CheerGurl: **First, ew. Are you hitting on me Eddie? And I'm here because I'm bored and waiting for Kim.

**JackarateB: **Yeah, where is Kim?

**CheerGurl:** I think she's at the mall. Trying out a new yogurt shop with Mika or something. But she's coming over to my house eventually!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** But Mika and I were gonna hang out later! X(

**CheerGurl: **Oh, suck it up Jerry!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Hey! I found the most interesting thing on the internet!

**"The Playa" Eddie:** Oh, do tell!

**JackarateB: **Eddie, was that sarcasm?

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Well, since Kim isn't here, I thought I'd try!

**JackarateB:** I'm sorry, but you can't pull it off.

**CheerGurl: **Yep, only Kim can. (:

**Milton David Krupnick: **_Anyway, _I was researching infatuation, and I found this interesting insight!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **English Milton!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Oh shut up and read. I think you'll find it describes one of us _very_ well: _Infatuation describes the intense range of feelings present at the beginning of most relationships; sweaty palms, rapidly beating heart, butterflies in the stomach. The world is a better, more beautiful place because object of your affection is with you. Every time you touch is thrilling, you remember every conversation, and your thoughts revolve around them. In more common terms, this is a crush._

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Uh… Anybody else not able to read that?

**CheerGurl: **Describes Jack around Kim! Isn't she always complaining how you have sweaty palms Jack?

**Milton David Krupnick:** Uh, I was gonna say Julie and I… But… I guess Jack works too!

**JackarateB: **NO! No. no…

**CheerGurl: **Is Kim really _that _horrible Jack?!

**JackarateB: **NO! That's not what I meant! I just - don't think a relationship is in our future. I mean, she's a good friend, but nothing more. She's my girl-talk guide.

**CheerGurl: **If you say so Jack.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Cough! – liar – cough!

**JackarateB:** Hey!

**"The Playa" Eddie:** Come on Jack. You and Kim definitely have a thing. I mean, I'm sure Kim talks about you at least half as much as you talk about her! Right, Grace?

**CheerGurl:** It's really not my place to tell…

**JackarateB:** Sorry guys. We don't have a "thing."

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Well, if you're sure… Then can you help me out? Some of my family is down from Mexico and my cousin Lupe was wondering if I could help him get a date with a cute American girl. Of course, I assured him I knew the blonde haired, brown-eyed cheerleader/ninja! (: Our good friend Kimmy!

**JackarateB:** As in, _my _Kimmy?!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah dude. But if she's 'yours…'

**JackarateB: **No-no! It's fine. She's just a friend.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Oh, the wonders of infatuation! "_Infatuation is caused by a chemical reaction in the body. The hormones released accounts for some of the feelings of elation" _Isn't that wonderful! And to think, when I first met Julie it was just like this! But now I love her!

**CheerGurl: **His mind is on a totally different track.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **All I'm getting is that Jack's high.

**JackarateB: **I told you! KIM IS JUST A FRIEND! AN AQUANTINCE! WE WILL NEVER BE CLOSE! I assure you. She'll never be _that_ special in my life!

**"The Playa" Eddie: **De-Nile isn't just a river in Mexico Jack.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **It's not a river in Mexico!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, did you just utter something, and it was _right?!_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **What, you guys don't think I know my homeland?

**"The Playa" Eddie: **It must be crazy day! I'm gonna go ask my parents if I can have a cell phone!

**Milton David Krupnick: **I don't envision that going too well.

**CheerGurl: **Wow. I'm not even sure why I got on this chat. I'm leaving.

**JackarateB: **WAIT! Grace! Before you go…

**CheerGurl: **I'm waiting.

**JackarateB: **Would you mind_ not_ telling Kim about this?

**CheerGurl:** *sigh* I won't bring it up. It's not like Kim could be _hurt_ by this or anything!

**JackarateB: **First, thx! Second, I'm gonna ignore your sarcasm. Third, I would hug you right now if I could!

**CheerGurl:** Yeah, yeah. Save the hugs for the girl you _obviously_ like better than Kim!

_**CheerGurl **__logged off at 4:34_

**JackarateB: **She's really mad at me, isn't she.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Wouldn't want to be in your shoes, dude. The wrath of the cheerleaders is gonna come down on you, bro!

**Milton David Krupnick: **As much as I hate admitting it again, Jerry's right. I'd watch my back. They're like a pack of bloodthirsty manatees!

**JackarateB: **Manatees?

**Milton David Krupnick: **Don't diss Jack! Manatees are scary! Doesn't the term 'sea cow' sends shivers up your spine?

**JackarateB: **Uh… Sure…

**JackarateB: **Though I'm not sure if the cheerleaders would appreciate being called sea cows…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Gah! It's already 4:50! I'm behind on my schedule! I should have been doing my extra-cred essay an hour ago!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Extra? As in, more work?!

**JackarateB: **Milton, you have a perfect GPA.

**Milton David Krupnick: **You can never be too prepared! Besides, homework is like exercise for your brain! There isn't a thing it can't do!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, don't get him started on school! I came home to get _away_ from that!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Don't your parents ever talk to you about your grades Jerry?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I think. But I always tune them out. I'm good at that. XD

**Milton David Krupnick: **I've noticed.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jack, I'm sorry for what you're going to go through tomorrow, and possibly the rest of the week. If you don't see me, well, I have a, umm, cold, and, umm, don't want you to catch it! Bye!

_**Milton David Krupnick **__logged off at 5:01_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, he's just trying to save his own butt from the cheerleaders! Ha!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Ooh! Mika just texted! BYE!

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry **__logged off at 5:03_

**JackarateB: **Yeah. Nice friends I have. _I'm_ looking forward to tomorrow… NOT!

_**JackarateB **__logged off at 5:04_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Wow. Ditched on chat _again!_ And I didn't even get a cellphone out of this!

"_**The Playa" Eddie **__logged off at 5:35_

Jack sighed in frustration and ran his hands through his bouncy, brown hair. Kim had ditched him in 1st hour, ignored him 3rd hour, and now, in 4th hour, she was doing her best to be as far from him as possible. That wasn't easy, seeing as she was one desk up and a row to the right.

_AAAAAH!_ He silently screamed. His best friend ignoring him was torture. I mean, he expected the cheerleaders to be teasing/torturing him, which they were, but _Kim _ignoring him?! He hadn't done anything wrong! **(**As far as he knew. She hadn't been giving him the silent treatment yesterday, and he hadn't had the chance to do anything wrong before she had shunned him today.**)**

He didn't know what was wrong, and unless he fixed it, she would be avoiding him for who knows _how _long! And he only had one more hour with her to fix it!

_RIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!_

Jack stood and tried to pin-point the shiny blond head as the sea of kids ran to get to lunch. She must've already left! Dang it! He didn't particularly feel like joining the people-of-the-lunch-room, because the cheerleaders would undoubtedly be waiting for him. So instead he fought his way to his locker. He grabbed his Algebra book, slammed his locker, and almost ran into bright blue eyes and long red hair. Donna Tobin.

"Hi Jack!" She said, beaming. Her purple t-shirt hugged her hips just the right way and those legs – _Snap out of it, Jack!_

"Hi Donna." He gave her his trademark grin, sending a faint flush to her cheeks.

"So, I was wondering if we could maybe go to a movie later and-" Jack peeked around her and saw a flash of blonde. _Kim! There she is! Crap, she must've seen me with Donna!_ "Jack! Are you listening?"

"Uh, Donna, I gotta – um – go! I'll see you around, K?" He sprinted off down the fluorescent corridor, leaving Donna with her shiny pink mouth hanging open.

"KIM!" Jack called. She looked behind her, saw him, and started running. The only problem was, she had never in her life outrun Jack. With a snicker and a smirk he tackled her. Luckily, no one was there in the hall, or there would probably be a picture posted of a mess of tan limbs and scattered books.

Kim hurriedly grabbed at her books and started speed-walking away.

"Oh Kimmy!" She turned around to stare daggers at him. "You forgot something!" He pinched her favorite blue gel pen between his fingers. His smirk sent warmth to her cheeks because of her own stupidity. She walked up and plucked it out of his hand. As she turned to go, his hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to him.

"Why are you giving me the silent treatment?" Kim just stared at him. "Serioulsey Kim! I don't understand what I did wrong!"

She gave him a sickly-sweet smile.

"You wanna know what you did wrong Jackie?" She came forward. "First off, you're a stupid, inconsiderate jerk. 'She's a good friend, nothing more.' And apparently not even our friendship is that important. After all, aren't I just your 'girl-talk guide?'" He flinched every time she quoted him.

"But how did you-"

"It doesn't matter! Just because I don't have legs like Donna Tobin and don't worship the ground you walk on doesn't mean you can treat me like garbage! Besides, we're not even friends, are we?" She had him pinned against the lockers.

"OF COURSE WE ARE!" By then Jack was shouting. He could see unshed tears in her eyes. But she was strong. She'd never shed them.

"ACCORDING TO YOU, I'M 'JUST AN AQUANTINCE! WE WILL NEVER BE CLOSE! SHE'LL NEVER BE THAT SPECIAL IN MY LIFE!'" That shut him up. He stood there wincing, looking anywhere but at Kim.

"I rest my case." She said snidely, two lonely tears running down to her chin. He had always promised himself that he would hurt whatever sick monster made Kim cry. He'd never expected it would be himself. He watched her turn and walk away. No, he had to make this right.

Suddenly, Kim was turned around, grabbed by the waist and kissed speechless. Jack broke the kiss and leaned his forehead onto hers. He made sure her brown eyes were trained on his before he talked.

"I'm happy you're not Donna, Kim! You're sarcastic, funny, and _never_ afraid of what others will think. Hey, don't cry!" She was looking at the floor and tears were running down her neck like a river. He placed two fingers under her chin and lifted it up. "Kim, you need to believe me! I blew off Donna just to follow you. Think about it! I could've gotten a date with her, one of the hotties of the school, might I add, but instead decided to follow you, even though I knew you were mad at me. Which would be harder to deal with, do you think?"

She let out a shaky laugh. "Me, of course." He chuckled and kissed her softly again.

"C'mon. Let's go get you cleaned up." They gathered up their books and walked down the hall, hand in hand.

_**Probably**_** the worst thing I've ever written. Remember, even though they kissed in this one, doesn't mean that they'll be dating in the next one.**


	3. The Pain of Bowling

**So this may or may not be a two shot. My friend Sam think's it should be but... I don't know. Lemme know whatcha think!**

_**Milton David Krupnick **__is online_

"_**The Playa" Eddie **__is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry **__is online_

_**Kim A. Crawford **__is online_

_**AwesomestKarateSenseiEvur!XD **__is online_

_**JackarateB **__is online_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **AwesomestKarateSenseiEvur!XD?

**JackarateB: **Lemme guess. Rudy.

**AwesomestKarateSenseiEvur!XD:** Hey guys! I just found this! Did you know that you can make things that look like smiley faces?! (: (; (: X) XD XD (;

**JackarateB: **…Um…

**AwesomestKarateSenseiEvur!XD: **Fine then! If you guys don't enjoy my smiley faces, I'll take them somewhere else!

_**AwesomestKarateSenseiEvur!XD**__ logged off at 7:54_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Ok…?

**JackarateB:** WHOOOOOOOOH!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, not cool! That's _my _thing!

**Milton David Krupnick: **You should copyright that.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Copyright? You mean write it on myself? I'm uber confused…

**Kim A. Crawford:** Don't worry Jerry! I have some awesome pink sharpies that'll look great with your summer skin tone! (:

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Thx Kim! XD

**Kim A. Crawford:** Anytime, Jerry. Anytime. *snicker snicker*

**JackarateB: **Good luck with that Jerry… Anyway, I wasn't trying to steal your _whooh,_ I just couldn't help myself! I just beat Destiny at bowling!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **You're bowling right now? _And _talking with us?! How?

**JackarateB: **Umm, my PHONE!

**Milton David Krupnick: **You're talking to your friends instead of talking to your date? I'm not an expert, (yet), but you need to pay more attention to this Destiny of yours!

**JackarateB: **Oh, I'm paying attention to her. (;

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Make out ALERT!

**JackarateB: **I never said that!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **But you haven't denied it yet!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack, I don't even see you!

**JackarateB: **Umm… I'm not in your room Kim.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well I'm not either, dufus!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Daaaaaang gurl! Chill!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Well if you're not at your house then where are you?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well, I may or may not be at the bowling alley. *blushes*

**Milton David Krupnick: **Really Kim? Stalking Jack? Has it really come to that?

**JackarateB: **Wow Kim. *smirks* Didn't know you had Jack Feva that badly!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Sorry to deflate your cow-sized ego, but I'm not stalking you Jack.

**JackarateB: **Sure, sure, sure. Whatever you say Kimmy. (;

**Kim A. Crawford: **But I'm not! I didn't even know you'd be here!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Then why are you there?

**Kim A. Crawford: **I just might have a date.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **With who, mamacita?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Uh, is that really important? Hehehe…

**JackarateB: **Yes Kim. Yes it is.

**Kim A. Crawford: **I hate you Brewer.

**JackaratB: **I know! (;

"**The Playa" Eddie:** Kim! QUIT AVOIDING THE QUESTION! Who're you with?!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Fine. - _- I'm with Isaac.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **You got Isaac McLean to ask _you _out?!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well don't act so surprised about it. Jeez.

**Milton David Krupnick: **But Kim, last week you were complaining about how perverted he was!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeah, well, I find him quite charming now!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **You find the way he was checking you out _charming?!_

**JackarateB: **Wait, what? When was he checking her out? When did this happen?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Umm, around the same time you were checking Donna out. Apparently you also spaced when Kim was complaining about what he was trying to do to her.

**JackarateB: **Wait, what was he trying to do to her?! I might have to have a talk with him later…

**Kim A. Crawford: **It was nothing Jack!

**JackarateB: **Eddie, tell me _now._

**Kim A. Crawford: **NOOOOO! Besides, it doesn't have anything to do with you!

**JackarateB: **Kim, if he's messing with you, it has _everything_ to do with me.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack, if he was trying something on your girlfriend, _then_ you'd have an excuse to beat up Isaac. But I'm not your girlfriend, so you don't have the right to do _anything_ to him. Ha!

**JackarateB:** Kim, you're my best friend. I have the right to do whatever I want to him! There! I have perfect logic! Here, I'll come find you now!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Uh, Jack, aren't you forgetting about something?

**JackarateB: **?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Your date, dude!

**JackarateB: **Dang!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Ha!

**JackarateB: **No one gets the best of Jack Brewer! *grins widely*

**Kim A. Crawford: **Crud… You better not try anything!

**JackarateB: **Kim, are you doubting me!? You really think _I _would ruin your date?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Ugh.

_**Kim A. Crawford **__logged off at 8:37_

**JackarateB:** Hehehe…

_**JackarateB **__logged off at 8:38_

**Milton David Krupnick: **Something tells me that this isn't going to end well…

"**The Playa" Eddie:** I wish I could see it!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I don't! That chick punches hard when she's mad!

I looked down at my watch, up at the blonde boy picking up the bowling ball, down at my jean-clad legs, and then back at my watch. It was 8:45. I was hoping that this meant that Jack had decided he'd rather kiss _that girl _than ruin my night. But part of me really hoped he'd come. But I wasn't jealous. No. _Maybe a little… _NO! I have Isaac! That should be enough!

Speaking of Isaac, he cheered and jumped in the air, ran back to me, picked me up, and spun me around. I forced a laugh. It was fun and all, but it felt weird. I mean, the only person who ever picked me up was Jack. It was just weird when Isaac did it. But I suppose that when he did it to all the other girls, they swooned, so I would try to too.

"Isaac, put me down!" I squealed as he started tickling me. Then his hand slid a little low. Crap. He was still a pervert. "Seriously, Isaac, put me down." Luckily, he complied. He would've had bodily harm otherwise. _Oh, who am I kidding?! Isaac is a big, muscly, kid who gets a little too frisky at times. I'm dead if he ignores my protests. Why are all of the weirdoes attracted to _me_!?_

I sighed, sat down on the orange chairs, and ran my hands through my windblown blonde hair. He sat next to me and placed his hand on my knee, rubbing it comfortingly. _Is he really being nice, or is he just trying to make a move?_ I sat there awkwardly, waiting for the brunette who was currently grabbing her ball to get done so it could be my turn. I just wanted this night to be over. The brunette took her stance, and neatly flicked the ball down the aisle, knocking down all of the pins but one. I groaned in frustration.

"I got a spare." I blinked and looked back at Isaac. His hand was still on my leg, but slightly up from where it was, and warmth radiated onto my thigh. His green eyes were looking right into mine. I looked away and chuckled nervously. Glancing up at the screen, I saw that it was my turn. But when I tried to get up a warm hand grabbed mine, the other hand scooped my legs onto a lap, and my arms were pinned to my sides.

Suddenly, warm lips crashed onto mine. I let out a half strangled squeak, and smacked at the hands that were cutting my circulation off to my arms. He finally let go and I jumped back, falling on my butt. He smirked at me and offered me a hand. I ignored his act of chivalry and got up by myself with an angry huff. He just laughed at me.

_You know, you don't have to put up with this Kim._ I pushed the thought away. Of course I do! I have to show Jack that I can take care of myself! _Well, if he starts making out with you again I'm not so sure…_ I sighed and walked towards the door. I was done. Done with Isaac. I stopped and turned around. My eyes scanned the bowling alley, which was no small building, but still couldn't spot Jack. So I resumed walking out the door.

The cold air blasted around my bare shoulders. I shivered and reached for my phone. There was no bulge. My phone was gone! What the heck! Had Isaac taken it when his hand went up my leg? Well crud! Now what?

"Kim, its freezing. Come on, let's get you warmed up." The heavy football player I despised came out and started leading me around the back of the building. I was frozen in terror, and my heels dug into the soft ground. What if he tried anything? _Again?!_

"Kim! Quit being difficult! You're practically a block of ice!" His green eyes looked worried, but I could never tell whether he was being sincere. He ducked and picked me up bridal style.

"Isaac!" I screeched in his ear and struggled, but he wouldn't remove his grip, he only tightened it, to the point where I was sure my leg would be _very_ bruised in the morning. Tears welled in my eyes as he opened the door and shoved me inside. How I despised football players.

He pulled the driver's door open and slid in. Rubbing his hands together he stared at me.

"What." I hissed at him, wanting to be as far from him as possible. "You have me here, so what? What do you want? After months of trying and trying to get me on a date, here we are. So what?"

His vivid green eyes peered into mine. They were soft.

"Can I just…" he leaned forward, and before I knew it his nose was skimming mine, and he was climbing over to my side of the truck. My brown eyes widened as he locked the door and blocked the lock with his hands. And then the kisses came. I couldn't really shove him off of me, since he was at least 50 pounds heavier than me! So I started clawing at his face. That made him back off a bit, which gave me enough time to grab the lock, yank the door open, and make a run for it. I flung my 5-inch boots off but he was still gaining on me.

"Crap…" I muttered, and turned towards the nearest store, which happened to be a Family Dollar. But a hand grabbed my shoulder, making sure I never got there. I crashed to the ground, screaming, and inevitably spraining my ankle. I lay there, groaning. My head felt wet, and my vision was fuzzy, but I saw a large figure looming closer. And then, I was enveloped in warm blackness.

**Jack's POV**

_Where is Kim? _Once again my eyes went around the bowling alley, but I just couldn't spot her shiny blonde head anywhere! I tried to text her.

_Kim where r u? I'm worried. - Jack_

I shoved my phone back into my pocket as Destiny flounced back to me.

"I got a strike!" She squealed, and wrapped her arms around neck, jumping like an idiot.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered. She was getting a little annoying. Her heavy brown curls kept whipping me in the face, and her eyes were rimmed with too much eyeliner. She was wearing a ridiculously short skirt, which was up to her butt. I flashed a brief smile. _She dressed to impress! Nice to know I have that effect on girls. _But no matter how she dressed, she was pretty hilarious, and had a great smile. She just needed to tone her ensemble down a bit.

I grabbed my bowling ball and executed an almost perfect round, only missing two pins, which I easily hit the second round. I turned and bowed flirtatiously to Destiny. She giggled. As I came back up, I saw a flash of honey/gold. _Kim?!_ I looked at her. She was on the ground, and a heavily built blonde boy was offering to help her up. I narrowed my eyes. _Isaac._

_Well,_ I tried to reason, _he isn't being a jerk! Maybe I'll just watch them and if he tries anything I can go stop it. _Despite Destiny's flaws, I didn't want to leave her! She was pretty and nice (and popular)! And we'd only kissed like twice! I headed back over to her.

A few minutes later, I stood up and looked for Kim, but she wasn't where she was before. Neither was Isaac. I whipped out my phone.

_Kimmy, did you go home? – Jack_

Almost immediately my phone buzzed.

_Yeppers! – Kim_

Yeppers? Kim doesn't use yeppers. In fact, I've never even heard her say that! Besides, that phrase is just retarded. And she should be yelling at me for calling her Kimmy, or at least threatening me! Something just wasn't right. I sighed.

"Is something wrong Jack?" Destiny's blue eyes sparkled as she questioned me.

"Yeah." I sighed again. "I gotta go check up on someone." She looked at me, a little miffed, but didn't protest as I got up.

"You need a ride home?" I asked politely, when in truth I was raring to get away and find Kim.

"No, I'll be fine. I think I'll finish this game." She smiled weakly up at me. I knew I was hurting her feelings but I needed to find my best friend. I smiled, waved, and walked out the front door. I turned around trying to find the quickest way to Kim's, when a bright green truck caught my eye.

_I know that truck!_ It was the one the cheerleaders would ride to school the day after the football team won a game. My eyes narrowed again almost involuntarily. I walked towards the truck, but stopped before I got there. It was abandoned.

_Well now what? _I guess I could wait and see if they come back… _But what if this isn't Isaac's truck? What if they decided to walk home? You can't just wait here. Heaven knows what he could be doing to her!_

My conscious was always right. I seemed to be sighing a lot today. I walked away from the parked truck. Then, I heard a bloodcurdling scream. My eyes widened and I flew towards the noise, only to see a dark figure looming over a delicate girl who was on the ground. Her hair looked silver in the moonlight and her lips were kiss-swollen. Blood was seeping out from under her hair at an alarming rate, and her ankle was twisted at an odd angle. My blood boiled at the sight. _Kim._

Snarling, I rammed into the figure that was standing over Kim, smirking down at her. He fell to the ground with a surprised groan. I began pummeling him with my fists, over and over and over. It felt like all my frustration with him, (even though I didn't know that much about him), was coming out into his face. He tried to fend off my attacks, which should have been easy. **(**He's a football player, _newsflash!_ He's a lot bigger than me!**)** But I was _mad _and I had just started so I was full of furious energy. A few seconds later I heard a slight sound from Kim, and decided to knock Isaac out of play so I could focus on her. I grabbed his shoulders and slammed his head into the ground repeatedly, until I was sure he was knocked out. I turned to Kim.

Her eyelids were fluttering. She let off a low groan and tried to get up, but whimpered and laid back down. I inspected her. The flow of blood from her head had slowed down slightly, but I knew that she was still losing a lot of blood. So I ripped off my jacket and wrapped her head in it, effectively covering her wounds.

"Jack?" Her voice was so faint that I almost didn't hear her.

I shushed her and began trying to get my hands under her. "We'll be back at your house soon." I promised. But when I tried to grab her legs so I could carry her easier, she whimpered again, a tear slowly trickling down her face. Shocked, I looked down, and immediately saw that her left leg was swollen_. Man, all I want to do is tear Isaac apart!_But I settled for carrying Kim home, careful not to touch her leg.

"Jack?" She tried again, a little louder this time.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming." She sighed and nestled into my chest. I smiled down at her.

"Anytime Kimmy. Anytime."

**Again, let me know what you think! Should it be a two shot?**


	4. The Pain of Bowling Part 2

**I'm SO SORRY I'M SO SLOW! Ok, I always hate long author notes and here I am writing one! Anyway, excuses: 1st of all, 3rd quarter just ended, meaning I've been scrambling like crazy to get everything done; 2nd of all, 4th quarter is starting and the teachers have been running us like sled dogs; 3rd of all, my sister and her hubby are moving and I've been trying to get in as much time with them and my nieces and nephew before they leave!**

**On that note, at least it's now Spring Break! I'll be here for the first half of the week but then I'm going somewhere. Not telling you where. That would be like asking for a stalker. But I'm still going to try and post on both my stories this week. I'm almost done with the 4th chapter of Abduction.**

**OH! I almost forgot! Tomorrow is my birthday so I'll try to post a birthday-themed oneshot on here tomorrow or the next day. (Probably tomorrow. Unless I get banned from this sight because I'm on here so much.) Anyway, I hope you enjoy your week!**

**Kim's POV**

"Kim!"

Flashing lights behind my eyes.

Black. Pain. Tingling.

A warm hand grasps my own.

Out again.

_ Green eyes jumped out at me. Blonde hair catches my gaze and I run. But no matter how fast I move, he just keeps getting closer and closer._

_ Suddenly, he was on top of me. I screamed and a flash of brown took the weight off. I watched the two fight like wild animals before lightning crashed and the monster held something shiny and sliver up. I screamed as he plunged it towards my savior's heart._

Jack's POV

I woke up to someone squeezing my hand with a death grip. My hand was clammy, but I didn't let Kim's hand go.

I wearily rubbed my eyes and looked at the digital clock next to the hospital bed. The only bright thing in the room. It's 3:43 A.M. _Ugh._ It was probably the 3rd time Kim had woken me up. She was in an endless nightmare. Endless because she just wouldn't wake up.

You see, after I had gotten a few blocks away from the bowling alley she had passed out again. I called her mother, who then freaked out and called 911. They found us on the ground, me cradling Kim to keep her warm. After much persuasion (and some lying) I rode with Kim on the ambulance. I stayed by her side when they hooked her up. Sadly I couldn't stay with her during surgery. She had _many _injuries that needed tending.

That freak had shattered her ankle, broken her foot, cracked the back of her skull, basically made her left leg black, and on that happy note he scraped and bruised every inch of her body! Let's just say she has _a lot _of stitches.

I sighed. _My poor Kimmy. _I gently kissed the palm of her hand and watched her thrashing slowly calm down a little bit. My eyes drooped and I leaned back onto the recliner that a nurse had fetched me for my night stay.

oooooOOOOOOooooo

My hand was suddenly cold. My eyes flew open and white met my gaze. I winced and blinked a few times, finally getting my eye sight in focus. Doctors and nurses swarmed over Kim's bed. I shot up and tried to shove through the doctors but the group was too tightly knit. I stood up on the recliner and spotted Kim, still unconscious, shaking on the bed, her face white. I was pretty sure I started hyperventilating after that. I plopped on the recliner and covered my face with my hands, gasping.

A nurse came by and took me outside of the room.

"Are you alright?" She looked worried despite her fake red hair that made her look like a stereotype Ariel.

"No." I muttered lowly. "Is she going to be ok?"

"I don't know honey. I don't know. They're giving her anti-seizure injections right now. Why don't you go sit down and I'll get you when I know what's going on." I weakly nodded and sat down on a hard, plastic chair. Soon I was pacing. And worrying. I mean, I know that Kim is one tough girl, but this tough? _Man, if she could see me right now she'd slap me. _This went on for about 15 minutes before my phone went off.

It was Mrs. Crawford, probably wondering how Kim was doing. She had to go to work this morning and since Kim was in stable condition when she left the doctors were able to convince her to leave. But luckily my mom let me stay with her.

I quickly hit the button.

"Hello Mrs. Crawford."

"Are you alright Jack? You're voice sounds strained!"

"Um…" I sighed in frustration and slid a hand down my face. I don't have an easy way to say this. "Kim had a seizure."

"WHAT?! Is she alright? Is she stable? Is her brain permanently damaged? I'm coming right now!"

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, and I was kind of hoping you'd come. They're giving her anti-seizure meds and the nurse said she'd tell me how she was doing."

"I'll be there in a minute."

Letting the phone 'plop' on the seat I dropped down after it. A few minutes later a flustered, worried blonde woman burst through the doors. Chelsea Crawford is the spitting image of Kim, except for the fact that her eyes are sparkling blue and she's obviously a little older than her. She stopped when she saw me and ran over.

"Have they told you anything yet?"

"No."

She let out an exasperated sigh and sat down next to me, texting her husband to let him know what had happened. Yes, Kim's mom texts. She's just that cool. After a little while tears started silently streaming down her cheeks. Silence.

Then Kim's dad burst in. He caught sight of his wife and cradled her. He looked plain mad. More silence. I resumed pacing.

Finally the Ariel nurse came in. We all jumped up as she came closer.

"Is she alright?" Mrs. Crawford grabbed onto her husband for support. My hands wrung together.

The nurse smiled. "She's stable. We'll need to keep her for observation for a few weeks but I think she'll be fine. Her skull should be able to heal up nicely, and her foot should be able to handle her weight in about three weeks. You can see her in about an hour." Then she went back into the room.

We all let out a 'whoosh' of relief. Mrs. Crawford started laughing and crying at the same time, jumping in her husband's arms. Even he was smiling. For me, I felt like my cheeks were going numb from the grin that wouldn't keep off of my face. I walked over to my phone and started texting the guys to let them know what had happened.

_**1 Week Later:**_

I sat on the side of Kim's bed and stroked her face. She was still asleep. Key word: asleep. Yep, she woke up about 3 hours after her seizure. The guys had come when I told them that she had woken up.

She smiled faintly in her sleep and rolled over. I grabbed a magazine from the bedside table.

I heard a groan and suddenly a tan hand snatched the magazine out of my hands.

"That's mine!" She said loudly, her brown eyes annoyed. I swallowed a laugh. Her hair was sticking up in random places and her hospital gown was crinkled all over.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." She scowled. "Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

She smirked. "Nope." She popped the p sarcastically. "Cause everything is just _peachy!_ Especially when I _can't move!_"

"Thought so." I leaned over and flattened the static hair that was sticking up over her ears and kissed her forehead. She blushed slightly and laid back down.

"I probably look like a mess."

"A hot mess."

She cocked an eyebrow at the ceiling. "Oh Jack. Always the charmer."

"That's me!" Kim stuck her tongue out at me in response. I smirked.

"Where are the guys?"

"They said that they'd be here after school."

"Wait!" She sat up again. "Why aren't you in school?"

"My mom let me out early."

"Why?"

"Because I told her something."

"Is that all I'm going to get?"

I got up and sat on her bed. "For now."

She sighed, exasperated. I lay down beside her and closed my eyes.

"Jack?" My eyes fluttered open. "Have you happened to see Isaac anywhere? He took my phone and I would like it back."

"Would you like me to fetch it milady?" She giggled slightly.

"No, you'd probably get sent to juvy for beating him up."

"I didn't get sent to juvy for beating him up last time."

She sat up and frowned. "Yeah and I don't get that. I mean, if that was me, I would _definitely _call the police on you. But he didn't." Then she muttered: "Though it's not like he's left."

"What?" I asked loudly. "What has he been doing to you? Has he been to see you? Kimmy, what aren't you telling me?"

"N-nothing Jack!" My eyebrows rose as her voice got higher and higher. "I mean, why would I need to hide anything from you? You're my best friend! There's nothing I can keep from you!" She broke her rambling with a pitiful fake laugh. I just looked at her in disbelief. I got up and started walking out of the room.

"Jack! What the heck? Where are you going?!" She called out desperately. I turned to face her.

"I'm going to the source of the trouble." Her face went pale.

"NO! Jack! I swear he hasn't done anything bad!"

"Then are you going to tell me what he's been doing?"

"He really hasn't done that much. He came in one day and tried to talk to me but I pretended to be asleep. Then he came back the next day. And the next. And the next. And then yesterday before he left he kissed me while I was 'asleep.'" She said quietly.

"Where was I when this happened?"

She smirked at me. "Jack, he came in before school. You're not a morning person." That was true. I only came here in the afternoon or after 9. "But that's no reason for you to fight him and get in trouble!"

I turned to go again. "Fine, but I'm getting your phone back."

"Jack no!" I ignored her.

_**At School **__(remember it's still going on)_

I breezed through the doors and almost ran into a massive crowd of people. They were blocking the _whole_ _hall!_ I elbowed and kneed my way through, annoying quite a few people. Finally, coming to the front, I came face-to-face with the principal, two police officers, and Isaac, who was being restrained. Our annoying principal was holding Kim's pink-and-blue phone in his hand.

"What happened?" I asked the nearest student, an average-looking boy with a mop of curly brown hair.

"I think someone said something about Isaac on security cameras at the bowling alley or something." I turned back to the police officers. I got brave and walked up to the principal.

"That's my friend Kim Crawford's phone."

He turned to me. "Kim Crawford? You mean the girl who's in the hospital?" I nodded. "So that's the girl who was on the ground? With the blonde hair?" Again, I nodded. The principal started looking at me closely. I shifted, uncomfortable.

"So I take it that you're the shadow that started beating him?" I stalled.

"Will it get me in trouble if I say yes?" The principal widened his eyes.

"Certainly not. Isaac is in trouble, not the person who beat him up."

"In that case, yes. Now, can I have the phone?" He smiled proudly at me and patted my shoulder, handing me the phone.

"Treat that Kim Crawford right." He sighed and shook his head. "Young love." I blushed faintly and grinned.

"Is it that obvious?"

"That you like her? I'm surprised that she hasn't noticed it yet."

"How do you know that she hasn't?"

"Well you did call her your friend…"

"Touché." _Maybe the principal isn't so bad. _With that I turned and elbowed my way out of the crowd to see Isaac being loaded into a police cruiser. I started for the hospital.

_**Back at the Hospital**_

"You're phone, mademoiselle!" With a flourish I produced her phone. She clapped her hands.

"YAY! Now give it!" She desperately reached for the phone. I easily held it up, out of her reach. She scowled at me. Then she gave me her puppy-dog eyes. "Please Jackie? Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?!"

I smirked. "Only if you move over so I can sit by you." She eagerly moved over and patted the spot next to her with ridiculous enthusiasm. "And you say you don't have a crush at me." I teased.

She ignored me and snatched her phone. She hugged it. "Baby! I missed you!" I rolled my eyes, causing her to punch me.

"Ow! Kim! Ouch! I _don't _need bruises all over my hot bod!" This caused her to punch me again.

"Nobody likes cocky guys Jack!" She yelled in my ear. I just snickered and pulled her closer to me. Eventually her eyes started drooping.

I smiled down at the blonde angel in my arms. My pocket buzzed.

**Kim's POV**

My eyes were closed and I sighed, tired. My consciousness floated away…. Then I heard Jack whispering.

"Mom? Yeah, yeah yeah. I know. I'll be home soon! Yes! Yes I know that you think I spend too much time here. I promise I'll go to school tomorrow! No, I haven't told her yet! No, I was going to pick up the red bear, but the white one looked better and it even had a mushy, romantic phrase on its tummy. But I didn't get it. No, not because I didn't like it. Somebody took the last one before I could grab it. Yeah, I know. No mom! Quit planning our wedding! We're only 15 for crying-out-loud!"

I frowned. _Who is he talking to? Whose wedding?_ My heart sunk a little low in my chest. _Who's he giving teddy bears to?_

"Nope. Besides she doesn't even like white. Or red. Or yellow! It doesn't matter if I like yellow! If we really were planning a wedding, which we AREN'T, she wouldn't like those. No! Mom, you're insane. Of course I love her! Yes, I get that you and dad got married right out of high school but…. Yes I know that you were both 12 when you met but… No! I may like her but…" Then his chest, which I'm using as a pillow, rumbled with laughter. "Yes. She is pretty awesome. Yeah. I really think she's special."

Tears prickled in my eyes. _I've lost him._

**Jack's POV**

I laughed again and looked down at Kim. "I'm not going to let her go mom."

"You better not! Kim is the nicest girl you've ever met! And I want blonde grandchildren someday!"

"I'm sorry mom but I think brown hair dominates."

"Psh. I'm not giving up hope. Hurry home sweetie! Bye!"

"Bye mom." I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked down at Kim. She had a slight frown on her face. I gently eased out of her iron grip and gently placed her head on a pillow. She instinctively snuggled in. I smiled. I grabbed her chin with two fingers and raised it out of the pillow. I softly pressed my lips to hers.

I stood up and stroked her hair. She had a beautiful smile on her face as she snuggled back into her bed. "I love you Kimmy."

**I hope that was alright! Thoughts? Reviews? Please? (puppy dog eyes)**


	5. The Pain of Bowling Part 3

**So I've been writing this since I got home from school. And it's like midnight now, but it was worth it! Anyway, so on Abduction, I'm trying to figure out where that story is going. I just got done with region drama and I might be going to state, though I'm not sure... Anyway, I might not post until Apr. 23 or the 24. But then again, I might just post next week. It all depends on how busy my week ends up being.**

**I've also been working on another story that's almost done. I might eventually start posting that, but not until I get Abduction straightened out.**

**K, here's The Pain of Bowling, Part 3!**

**Jack's POV**

_(3 months later)_

I had one hand clasped around Kim's waist as she tried to walk up the steps into Seaford High. The brace on her ankle was giving her troubles and she finally stopped a few steps up.

She turned to me with her beautiful brown eyes, pouting slightly.

"Jack, do you mind picking me up?" She held her arms out to me like a toddler. I smiled. I knew how hard it was for her to ask for help.

"Sure Kimmy." I then snatched her hand before she could punch me. "Nuh-uh Kim. If you hit me you won't get carried." She pouted more and latched her arms around my neck as I swung her up bridal-style.

I glanced behind me at Jerry.

"Dude could you get the door?" He didn't answer.

"Jerry!" Kim screamed. He jumped, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"Woah chicquita! Chill! Yeesh!" He muttered. I felt her tense up and I rubbed small circles into her back until she calmed down.

Coming through the front door we spotted a humungous purple-and-blue banner. It read, "Welcome Back Kim!" All the cheerleaders, including Kim's best friend Grace, were standing by it, as were the football players. I curled my lip in disgust.

I mean, I never liked football players in the first place, but now I plain hate them. They have no business being around _my_ Kimmy.

She squealed and started slapping my chest chanting, "Put me down, put me down!" I hastily set her on her feet, almost getting knocked over by the cheerleaders who immediately enveloped her.

When they spit her back out she was crying along with a few others who are close to her. The other cheerleaders were chatting with some of their football-playing boyfriends.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. _Don't they know that Isaac, the star football player, was a complete skunk bag? How can they trust the football players, no, JOCKS after that incident, when most of them _are_ his friends? _I shook my head. Their reasoning was beyond me.

Once in a while a random football player, usually out of a relationship, (though McKenzie Johnson's boyfriend, Ryan Chaffitz, came over once), would come by to flirt with Kim. And every time, I would nonchalantly put an arm over Kim's shoulder, looking innocent when she looked up at me questionably. Then I would glare at the boy until they cringed under the threatening look I was sending. I'm pretty sure that my aura was emanating the fact that Kim is _mine._

Other than that, a pretty good day!

oooOOOooo

**Kim's POV**

I rocketed up, slightly hindered by my knotted sheets that were strewn all over my bed. My hand went to my forehead and drew back, covered with sweat. I sighed and leaned back into my damp pillow. _That was the worst nightmare yet._

I ruffled my hair a little and grabbed my sleeping mask from my bed-side table. Slipping the cool satin over my eyes, I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

After about 15 minutes I realized that sleep just wasn't an option. So once again I groped through the darkness until I reached my phone. Then I proceeded to call the only person who can calm me down during these episodes.

"_Hello? Kim? You do realize that it's like 3 in the morning, right?"_

"Yeah," I stage whispered back. "But I can't go to sleep."

His groggy voice sighed. _"Alright. I'll be there in a second."_

"I'll meet you downstairs."

"_No, I have that spare key you gave me, remember? I'll come up to your room."_

"Quietly though. My parents are still asleep."

"_Well, _obviously_ I'm not going to just barge through the front door, now am I?" _When Jack's tired he's a tad-bit sarcastic.

"Just hurry."

"_Will do."_

I sighed and sat there, looking off into space.

**Jack's POV**

I cursed a couple times, trying to find my shoes. I totally ignored my closet. I know Kim's having troubles and all, but the best she's gonna get is a shirtless me with blue pj bottoms and orange flip-flops. Yeah, I might not match, but she's going to have to deal!

I finally got out of the mess that I call my room and continued down the hallway. I patted my pocket making sure that the hard piece of metal was still there.

Slowly, I slipped out of the door, trying to keep the amount of cold air slipping in at a minimum. I shut the door soundlessly and lethargically walked across the lawn, trying not to trip over stumps or holes in the ground.

Finally, I reached the Crawford's. (Yeah, their only next door, but that's a _long_ ways away in the dark!) I fished the key out and hit the door blindly a couple of times before finding the key hole. I unlocked the door and tried to find the staircase. Luckily, I know this house almost as well as my own.

My feet made 'pitter-patter' sounds all up the wood steps. Then I stopped. _Kim's room._ Sure, I've been in here countless times, but not in the middle of the night. Is it cheesy that I kinda feel like Romeo? I mean, it's not like I'm some random hormonal 16 year old who's hitting on a 13 year old girl! Actually, Kim and I aren't even together. _Dang._ Besides, I hate Romeo and Juliet.

I eased the door open and almost rammed straight into Kim.

"Hi." She said, just standing in front of me.

"Hey." I muttered back. There was a little bit of light coming in from the street and I swear, Kim's eyes looked like stars. _Man, I sound soooo cheesy._ "What are you doing up?"

"I was about to come look for you. You were taking a long time."

"Well I'm sorry princess. I had some trouble finding some shoes on short notice." She wrinkled her nose.

"You still haven't cleaned out your room, have you Jack."

"Nope!" I said, smirking.

She scowled and slowly made her way to her bed, lugging her brace with her.

"So," I said, sitting down by her on the bed. "What's this about not sleeping?"

She sighed. "I just… I really don't want to talk about it."

"Come on Kim! Talk to me! I can't help you unless you tell me what's been bothering you."

"Well…" She started slowly. "I've been having these dreams…" I put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"Go on." I said softly.

She shut her eyes and laid back down on her fuzzy comforter. "So I have my good dreams. I'll usually be in Biology class, waiting for our new quiz." She stopped a little. "Then my _crush_ will come by and wink at me." I cringed at the word crush, but listened all the same. "He'll come sit by me, cause ya know, it's a partner quiz. But before we can work on it, Lindsay and her little 'pep-squad' will rip him away from me. He'll beat them up and come back to me, lift me up, and then he'll take me out into the hallway." She stopped again and shifted on the bed. "This part is a little mature so I'm going to skip it." She muttered, almost muffling what she said with her hand.

I raised an eyebrow. _Wow. Even in her dreams she gets her crush. In _my_ dreams I _never_ get Kim! I wonder who he is and what exactly they're _doing_… Who is it? Brody? Lucas? Austin? Justin? Carson?_

"But then… There are some not-so-fun dreams…" She rolled over again, getting ever-so closer to me. "Where my friend Troy comes back…" She was face down in a pillow.

"Troy?"

"So 2 years before you got here, I moved here from Tennessee. I had a group of people I always hung out with, who were part of the dojo I went to. The Blue Tigers. Anyhow, we were always a tightly knit crew. There was Bianca, the smart one, Selena and Hannah, twins and wild-children, Michael, Bianca's older brother, Troy… Well, I kinda liked Troy. But I don't think he noticed. Then, there was Marissa. See, Marissa and I had never been on… The best terms. Troy was her cousin, and she was convinced that I was 'playing' with his feelings, when it was pretty obvious that he didn't have a clue that I liked him. But she was still a pretty good friend."

She stopped for a breath. I lay down on the bed beside her.

"A year ago I flew up during spring break to visit my large extent of family that lives there. Of course, like any good friends, Bianca, Sel, Hannah, Michael, and Troy were there to welcome me back. No Marissa, but that didn't worry me much. Anyway, they were the first thing I noticed when I got down the escalator. And then Troy, who had gotten a haircut and looked _pretty_ darn cute, came running up to me and enveloped me in a hug. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. But I slowly hugged him back. And then, to my complete and utter surprise, he kissed me. Not like a slow kiss, but like a needy, passionate kiss." I felt myself tense up.

"It kind of scared me. I mean, when I knew the kid a year ago in eighth grade, he hadn't shown _any_ interest in me. But I kissed back. Until he started pushing me against a wall. And then I thought _enough is enough_ and detangled myself from him. Luckily my mom wasn't there, or she would have _killed_ me!" She let out a flat laugh. "But of course people stared, and a couple of guys wolf-whistled and called out things like, 'having a reunion, eh?' and 'been away too long?' I was kind of mortified.

"I looked up at Troy, and he was all smiles, putting his arm around my waist and such. I just went along with it. But as soon as I could get one of the girls alone, which was Hannah, I questioned her about it. She said, and I quote, 'Well, after you left he was really mopey. Like, we all were too, but he was acting _really_ strange. So we kept asking and _asking_ him about it, and he wouldn't tell us. Not even Marissa, which made her pretty livid, as you can imagine. He finally told Michael, who told the rest of us. He said that he just really missed you, and after you left he found that he never wanted to live life without you.'"

By now my fists were clenched. _So he got Kim? Just after kissing her like that? He hardly did anything!_

She laughed again. "I remember she said that my face looked more surprised than when I was six and bird poop landed in my hair. Anyway, going on, she also said; 'So we were really confused. We asked him, how come you decided _now_ that you liked Kim? She's liked you for a _long_ time! Even _Michael_ could tell! Now she'll probably find some random dude in California! He started freaking after that. Marissa told him that he was being an idiot and that you would just kiss him and then drop him cold. But the shocking thing is, _he didn't listen! _Amazing, right? That was the first time that he _hasn't_ listened to her! Anyway, he eventually quit the dojo, saying that it wasn't the same without you, and kind of quit hanging out with us during the summer. Of course, you know Marissa. She refuses to admit that she has done _anything_ wrong, so she blamed you for him ignoring us. The rest of us thought she was a bit crazy for blaming you, and she started shunning us. Now she just hangs out with those snobs at school. But Troy, now Troy's a different story. He bounced back to us after the summer was over. Sure he looked and acted a bit different, but he's basically the same sweet, kind guy we've always known and loved.'

"And I was inclined to believe her."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Are you asleep?" I murmured.

"No."

"Ok." Then I thought for a few seconds. "Are you still with Troy?"

"Jack, my story isn't done yet."

"Then when are you going to finish it?"

No response. Then she rolled over so that her head was lying on my bare chest. I tensed up a little bit. "Relax." She breathed. "You have a steady heartbeat." I could feel her breath on my skin.

"Ok. So. Back to my story. We had been there for about a week, and Spring Break was almost over. Troy and I had been on a few dates, which were ok. The first one was _spectacular!_ He took me out to my favorite country diner. He was the picture-perfect gentleman! So sweet… But by the second date I noticed little things that were wrong with him. Like, instead of tipping the waitress, he would just get up and leave. A stupid thing to notice, but I _knew_ Troy, and his parents had taught him right. Manners are pretty important in that town. And then, during our picnic date, he had just left all of our garbage on the ground. Again, something that no one would normally notice, but the fact that I did meant that he something strange was going on. Then I saw him chatting with some other guys from school, picking on some little kids. Now that was _not_ the Troy I knew! Something weird was definitely happening, and I couldn't figure it out. _What did Troy _do_ during the summer?_

"Then, since Troy had gotten his license early, I had asked him to pick me up at my Aunt Marie's house. She lived about 5 minutes out of town, and it was raining. Not the ideal place to walk from. I had told him to pick me up at 7, but by 8:15 I was done with waiting. My grandma couldn't pick me up and my Aunt Marie had 4 little kids to take care of, so of course I wasn't going to make her put all of them into the car to drive me back. So I started walking in the pouring rain. I got home around 9:50 after getting lost in the rain a few times. Yes, the rain was bad enough to make me confused. When I got home, Troy was just sitting on my grandma's porch swing. I questioned why he hadn't picked me up, getting a little mad. And then he screamed and started _cursing _at me." Her voice shook a little at the last sentence. I rubbed her shoulder.

"And then?" I gently prompted her to tell me more.

"He _hit_ me." By now she was crying. "I didn't know what was wrong with him! But then I noticed how he was stumbling around a little, and the smell hit me. The smell of alcohol. After that I ran back down the porch. I don't really know why I didn't just run into the house, but I didn't.

"Eventually I ended up at Sel and Hannah's house, which was only a few blocks away. I tried the front door, which was locked, and ran around to their shed, stealing their spare key. I ran back to the front, but I saw Troy prowling around. So I went through their back door, locking it behind me. Their dad ran down with a baseball bat, but dropped it when he saw me and called for the twins. They burst out of their room in their pajamas. Hannah's eyes flew open when she saw me, looking like a drenched cat who had just had a horrifying ordeal with the neighbor's dog. Sel pulled me in for a hug. Then Troy started banging on the front door. Sel's mom went to open it but I screamed 'don't let him in!' She stopped and turned to me questionably. I broke down, crying on their kitchen floor, explaining how Troy was drunk and that he was after me.

"Obviously, they called the police." I breathed a sigh of relief at these words. "But he got away before they could get there."

"What?!" She was still crying, but now shaking as well. I hugged her.

"Th-they said that he had got-gotten away-away… That he had some he-help." She sighed, trying to collect herself. "But who? They couldn't say. They had me go home, and told me to lock everything and since they knew that I was staying with my grandma, to have some other people stay in the house too. So they took me back home and I had my other aunt and uncle who lived in that town, Robert and Lynda, come and stay in the house with me." Then she whispered; "But it wasn't enough."

Her voice then raised. "I was in my bed, of all places, and 3 people stopped outside of my huge bay window. And, stupidly, I thought I was dreaming. One of them messed with the latch on it. Then rain hit my face as they opened it, and I knew I wasn't dreaming. I tried to scream, but they were in quickly and one clamped a hand over my mouth, which I bit. They let go in movies, right? Well apparently they don't in real life. Two of them pinned my thrashing limbs down. Then one of them-" I clamped a hand over her mouth. She was becoming louder and louder, and I was afraid if she continued, she'd not only wake everyone up, but also have a heart attack or something.

"Hush." I murmured. I sat up with her and started slowly rocking back and forth. After a while I asked; "Did they… Do anything?"

"No." She whispered. "My uncle came in with a crow bar and my aunt with a shot gun and some rope. Let's just say that they didn't escape."

"I thought it was illegal to shoot people?"

"I didn't say she they shot them, but she did fire a few at the window to prevent them from making a run for it. Besides, my aunt is one of the sharpest shooters that I know. If they aren't meant to get killed when she shoots, they won't be." She sighed again and settled into me. We watched the sun begin to rise. I glanced over at her alarm clock. 5:24 A.M.

"So Isaac wasn't the first person to hurt you."

She shook her head against my chest.

"And that's your nightmare?"

"Well partially. In my dreams Troy succeeds with what he wanted to do, and it ends up being Marissa and Isaac who helped him, and even in all rationality I know that Isaac obviously couldn't have helped him, and that Marissa would never stoop that low for revenge, I'm still scared stiff." I could feel her smiling against my chest. "But sometimes, you come in and shoot them. You save the day."

"What, your _'crush'_ doesn't save you?" She stiffened and drew away.

"What?" I questioned.

"Who's the teddy bear for Jack?"

"_What?!"_ I was genuinely confused now.

"The white teddy bear. The one that you were going to get for that girl."

_Oh crap._

"Uh…"

"And who doesn't like yellow? Who does your mom like? What haven't you told whoever 'her' is yet? _And who do you obviously love better than you could ever love me?_" I just stared at her gorgeous doe-brown eyes that were capturing the light so perfectly. And then I just couldn't help myself. I captured her face in between my hands and my lips touched hers for a second time.

I kissed Kimberly Crawford.

oooOOOooo

**(**epilogue**)**

16 years later

**Jerry's POV**

My pocket buzzed.

Cursing, I fished for my phone in the pocket of my khakis. I drew it out and saw Jack's name on the screen.

**Hey, Kim's in the hospital. Could you come quickly? – Jack**

My eyes widened.

"Mika!" My gorgeous wife came into the kitchen in a beautiful sundress, carrying a picnic basket.

She looked confused. "What is it Jerry?"

"Kim's in the hospital. We need to go there. Like, now." Her eyes widened. She quickly shoved the picnic basket into the fridge and ran off to go get our eldest girl out of the bathroom.

"Texie! Hurry up! Aunt Kim is in the hospital!" Her voice echoed through the hallway and multiple curly heads poked their ways out of doors.

"What?" My little kindergartener, Marcus, muttered. He came out of his room rubbing his eyes.

"Auntie Kim is in the hospital honey." She ruffled his hair. "Can you go grab your shoes and put them on?" He slowly nodded and trudged back into his room.

I ran over to the table and started looking for my keys before I remembered that they were already in the Jeep. _I guess today was a good day to get ready for a picnic._

Peals of laughter reached my ears as Cory chased Rebecca around the living room. I grabbed Cory and started tickling her, her long curls smacking me in the face.

"Hey girlies. Where's your sister Kendyl?"

Just then a little girl came running down the hall.

"Mommy says that you need to… umm… Oh yeah! You need to get us into dresses or something!"

I sighed and looked at the three identical 4 year olds in front of me. "Alright girls. Let's go get some clothes to put on you. Come on!"

I knelt, let Cory grab onto my shirt with her little hands, and then lead all the other two down the hallway. I quickly rummaged around until I found their matching pink dresses. I slipped their swimming suits off of them and shimmied their dresses on. Then I led them out to the Jeep where their older brother Jacob was already helping Marcus to get in. I got all three girls strapped in and told Jacob to watch them while I went in and got Mika and Texie.

I hopped up the steps. "Mika! Are we ready?"

She came out, grabbed her wallet and jacket, a ponytail-holder in between her teeth, and then started brushing Texie's thick brown hair into a ponytail.

"Ow Mom! That hurts!" She whined, a pouty look on her face. Mika finished, ran her hands over Texie's hair one more time, and then threw the brush on the couch. She grabbed Texie and started shoving her out. I shut off the lights and locked the door, following them.

oooOOOooo

**At the hospital**

"Come on guys!" Marcus yelled, running forward.

"Marcus! Get back here!" Mika yelled. She chased after him, muttering something that strangely sounded like, _Oh, what we would have done to him in Hakhmakhistan!_

I continued down the hallway, making sure that my herd of kids was following me. We finally reached the waiting room where we saw Jack pacing back and forth.

"Uncle Jack!" My kids chorused. They ran over to him. He looked stressed, but his face immediately brightened when he saw the kids. He picked up Rebecca and twirled her around, Cory and Kendyl trying to cling to his legs.

"Hey, guys, quit trying to murder your uncle." Then I smiled. "Jack!" I haven't seen you for a while!" We did our bro-hug.

"How are you?" I asked seriously. This caused Jack to anxiously look up at the clock.

"Good, I guess. The kids are over at my parent's. Eddie and Selena are coming over later, as are my brother Jason and Bianca. Milton and Julie were here earlier, but they had to leave because they both have that presentation at noon."

I made a noncommittal grunt. We both watched my kids play.

"Jackson? Jackson Brewer?" Jack immediately turned to look at the nurse.

"That's me."

"Well, Kim's dilated to a 7, and she's been asking for you."

I turned to Jack, a little confused. "Dude, why haven't you been with her?"

He looked a little sheepish. "She started yelling at me because I was worrying too much. Said I was stressing her out, which was probably true. So the nurses made me wait out here until I could calm down."

"If you call that calm…" I muttered. Then I brightened. "Well go man! Go help your woman!"

Jack smiled and practically raced down the hall. My wife and Marcus came through the door.

"Is Jack with Kim?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at Marcus, who was pulling on my shorts. "Yes buddy?"

"Is Auntie Kim going to have another baby?" He asked.

"Yes." I said. "After today you'll have a new cousin." The kindergartener's brown eyes widened in wonder.

"Hey Marcus! Do you ever wonder where babies come from?" Texie said, her eyes full of mischief.

"Don't tell him!" Mika and I yelled out, causing everyone in the waiting room to stare at us.

oooOOOooo

**Jack's POV**

I held the beautiful creation in my arms. She was still slightly damp, but her mass of golden hair was slowly drying. My mother had brought my other four kids in a few minutes ago and the eldest, Brice, was staring at her in wonder.

"What are you going to name her?" My mom said quietly.

"I'm not sure…" I murmured, studying my new daughter's perfect face. "I picked the last, which was Shaylyn, so it's Kim's turn."

My lovely wife turned her tired eyes to me after hearing her name. "What shall we call her, Kim?" I questioned. My seven year old Bradley climbed onto a chair beside her bed.

"Yeah momma! What're we gonna call my new sister!?" She fingered his brown hair for a moment.

"How about… Nina. It was my grandmother's name."

I carefully kneeled down with the baby. Four brown-haired children lined up to peer at their new sibling. Toby leaned in and softly kissed her blonde head. Shaylyn followed in suit.

"And her middle name?" I looked up, but Kim was already asleep. "Kim." I decided. "Nina Kimberly Brewer."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. May I hold her?" My mom said, coming down beside me. I wordlessly handed the little miracle over to her.

"Well mom, looks like you finally have your blonde grandchild."

"And I couldn't be happier."

**I'm so tired. I'm going to go to bed. So this is like 4,000 something words. So yeah. Leave comments! Bye! Oh, and Jack and Kim's kids are, in order: Brice, Toby, Bradley, Shaylyn, and Nina Brewer. **

**Jerry and Mika's kids are: Texie, Jacob, Marcus, Cory, Rebecca, and Kendyl.**

**And Eddie married that twin from Tennessee, Selena, and they have 4 kids: Crystal, Wesley, James, and Gabe.**

**And, of course, I can't leave Julie and Milton out! Their kids are Clayton, Anthony, Jennifer, and Austin.**

**Like you really care... But I couldn't leave them out!**

**And just so we're clear, this is the _end_ of the Pain of Bowling trilogy.**


	6. Random-Fest

**I feel so bad, neglecting you innocent people. I've been trying really hard to write stuff, but it just hasn't been working out. So a couple days ago I promised myself that I would post this week. So here you are.**

**(PS. So in a few stories the author has a random word that the reviewers put in their reviews if they read the author's note. So I'll probably start doing that. OH! If you see any mistakes with grammar or anything, tell me, and I shall fix it.)**

**(PPS. I'M SORRY THIS IS SO BAD! There. I'm done for now. Proceed down the page.)**

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ is online_

_**JackarateB**__ is online_

"**ThePlaya_" Eddie_**_ is online_

_**Kim A. Crawford**__ is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ is online_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yo! My homies! What's up!?

**Milton David Krupnick: **I feel like your brain cells are depleting more each infinitesimal minute.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Anyone know what depleting means? Infinitesimal? What?

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Hey guys! Wassup?

**JackarateB: **Really? You just saw us what, 5 minutes ago? At the dojo? What has really changed?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Got a point there Jack.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **What!?_ I_ ask 'what's up', and _I _don't get an answer, but Eddie says 'wassup' and _he_ gets an answer?! It's not fair yo!

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Kim, you're just backing Jack up because you like him.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Watch your back Eddie. An angry black belt is plotting your death.

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Why? Because Kim's gonna come after me? I can take her! (;

**JackarateB:** Dude, you cannot take Kim.

**Kim A. Crawford: **YOU WANNA DIE JONES?! YOU WANNA GO LIVE WITH MY DEAD FISH MR. BUBBLES?!

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: ***gulp*

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I feel left out.

**JackarateB: **How can you feel left out when we're talking to you right now?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **DON'T JUDGE ME! I'M JUST NOT FEELING THE LOVE!

**Kim A. Crawford: **?

**Milton David Krupnick: **I don't know Kim. I just don't know.

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **I got two bottles of chocolate sauce!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Swag dude! Can I come over?

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **NO! This will not be like last time I had chocolate stuff.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Was the Mr. Peanuts really _that_ bad?

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **The _escalator_ wasn't the problem Jerry. The main problem came when you were chasing that hedgehog with a rubber band.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **You're making me think that you don't trust me!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, nobody in their right mind would trust you. Nobody.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **D:

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie:** And then the owner had his cat eat your sock!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **_That's _where my sock went!? I thought Mrs. Greene took it when I wasn't paying attention in Earth Systems!

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Why would a teacher want your sock?

**JackarateB: **When did this chat turn into a random-fest?

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Dunno. Just did.

**Kim A. Crawford: **I'm bored. And cold. I'm gonna go grab my jacket and some hot cocoa. Brb

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Jack! Kim is calling you! She's bored.

**JackarateB:** How is Kim calling me?

**Milton David Krupnick:** She's going to get her _jack_et!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah! XD

**JackarateB: **Milton, why are you encouraging him?

**Milton David Krupnick: **I was just trying to visualize his side of the argument. Besides, I'm on the Debate team now. Perspective is in my blood.

**_"_ThePlaya_" _Eddie: **Ok… Anyone else think the blonde loves the brunette?!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah! Total swag! I'm gonna have a cheerleader girlfriend! WHOOH!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, Eddie was talking about Jack.

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Besides, your hair is all blackish.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **DON'T DIS MY HAR!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, it's _hair_, not _har._

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Hey I've got a game! We all say one word, and complete a story!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **YAY! A GAME! :D

**Milton David Krupnick: **Okay. I have nothing better to do.

**JackarateB: **This better not be like last time.

**"The Playa" Eddie: **It won't be. Come on, Jack! Play with us!

**JackarateB: **Gosh, fine.

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Okey-dokey! Milton, you go first.

**Milton David Krupnick: **The

**JackarateB: **Little

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Pegasus

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Fell

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Off

**JackarateB: **Mt.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Papaya

**"The Playa" Eddie: **and

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Spotted

**Jack****arateB: **a

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **supercalifrajalistic

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Spaceship

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Flown

**Jack****arateB: **by

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Kimmy

**"The Playa" Eddie: **The

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** most

**Jack****arateB: **dangerous

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Foxy woman! XD

**Jack****arateB:** JERRY! What the heck?! Can you not stop thinking about women for 5 FRICKIN' MINUTES?!

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Jack, you need to chill.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah! The only reason that you got all defensive is cause you like said lady. :D

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Jerry, you're cruisin' for a bruisin'.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** I'm not cruisin' anywhere! I'm only at the baseball park. By the way, did you know that they sell the chat app comes free with the phone?! It's swag yo! I'm gonna get Mika one of these for her b-day!

**Jack****arateB: **Now that I know where you are, I can end you. *evil laugh*

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Dude, I would seriously run!

**Jack****arateB: **Don't move Jerry!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Kay-Kay.

**"The Playa" Eddie: **Dude!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **What?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Angry black belt who can run 3 miles and still kill people is coming your way! And the park is only like a 2 minute run from his house!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **D:

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **Run to Kim's! It's only a block away!

******"The Playa" **Eddie: RUN SWAGMIESTER, RUN!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **AAAHHHH! I'M RUNNING I'M RUNNING!

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Do you see BBSkater yet?

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** BBSkater?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Yeah. I thought we could have codenames.

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **Such as…

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Like, you and Julie could be the 'NerdHerd', or if it's just you, it could be either 'Nerd' or 'Herd'. Your pick. Jerry could be 'SwagMiester', Jack can be 'BBSkater', (cause you know, he's a black belt and a skater), Kim could be 'RainbowPorcupine', and I can be 'PLAYAOFTHECENTURY'!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **Uh, no. Just no.

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Well fine, Mr. Smarticle-Pants, what do you suggest?

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** First of all Eddie, that was the best comeback you could come up with? Second, those nicknames suck! Instead of 'NerdHerd', I would appreciate the term 'King Militonius, the first'! SwagMiester just sounds dumb, as does BBSkater. I really have no problem with RainbowPorcupine. That fits Kim perfectly. Except maybe for the rainbow part. And seriously? 'PLAYAOFTHECENTURY'? Eddie, that is the _worst_ codename I have _ever_ heard. How about, 'delinquent who will never graduate and have to take overnight college courses on the internet in his 30s'?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: What?!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **You're right. That last one fits Jerry better. You can be 'Falafel-nator: _the boy who can eat 50 falafel balls and _still_ have room for desert!'_

**Kim**** A. Crawford:** Hey guys, I just looked out my window and saw Jerry pounding on my door profusely. Is there a reason I should let him in?

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Read all previous texts. There lies your answer.

******"The Playa" **Eddie: You sounded like Romeo.

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **How?!

**Kim**** A. Crawford:** He said WHAT!?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: I knew you shouldn't have told her to do that. She gets all prickly. Hey! See, I told you the name 'RainbowPorcupine' worked! Man, am I awesome or what!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **Or what.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Kim! Open the door! JACK'S GOT A PING PONG! A PING PONG BALL!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **A ping pong?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: What's so threatening about that?

**Kim A. Crawford: **You'd be surprised what Jack can do with a ping pong.

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **I've decided that I don't want to know.

******"The Playa" **Eddie: I'm still curious!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick: **So I've got to go do my math, so, bye my fellow warriors!

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Farewell, oh Great and Noble King Miltonius!

**Mil****ton David Krupnick:** Fare thee well, my trusting citizen!

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ has logged off at 4:23_

**Kim**** A. Crawford: **King Miltonius?

******"The Playa" **Eddie: Didn't you read the rest of the chat?

**Kim**** A. Crawford: **Not past 'Kimmy the dangerous Foxy Lady XD'

******"The Playa" **Eddie: It was 'Foxy woman'

**Kim**** A. Crawford: **Whatever.

**Kim**** A. Crawford: **Jack's sitting by me now.

******"The Playa" **Eddie: I'm scared… what happened to Jerry?

**Kim**** A. Crawford:** In Jack's words, 'He's out of the picture'

******"The Playa" **Eddie: ?

**Kim**** A. Crawford: **He has a banana shoved in his mouth, a ping pong ball taped to his forehead, and wrapped up like a mummy in a blanket and has somehow been glued to the wall. Don't mess with Jack.

******"The Playa" **Eddie: True that.

**I'm so sorry if this sucked! I've been so stressed with testing! But at least I went up WHOLE NINE POINTS in my math! So how have you guys been doing? So I've decided to try and put up another chapter of Abduction during the remainder of this month. Also, I may change the name because every time I hear the word 'abduction' I think of Taylor Lautner. But I haven't decided what to call it yet…**

**Your random word: McFlurry**


	7. Birthday Annoyances

**I started this **_**WAAAAYYYYY **_**back last month, on my **_**actual **_**birthday. But then I slacked off and forgot about it. I had planned to make it this **_**huge**_** chat. Then, like 15 minutes ago, I found it again, and planned to finish it. And then I got bored. So here's your miniscule chapter!**

_BUZZ…BUZZ…BUZZ…BUZZ…BUZZ…BUZZ…_

My hand reached out for whatever was making that noise. _Smack! _My hand hit the cool surface of my iPhone 4 and I unlocked it, shielding my eyes from the bright light.

_Kim! Get on chat! Pweeaaaaassssseeeee! – __**Jerry**_

I groaned and chucked my phone behind me. Not hard enough that it would fall off of the bed, but hard enough to ensure it was away from me. I couldn't have dozed for more than five minutes before my phone went off again. _UGH!_

_ Kim! Hurry up! It's an emergency! – __**Jerry**_

I sighed. Knowing Jerry his emergency is probably that Pepito peed the bed again or something. _I swear, if this isn't important I am going to _kill_ him._

I sat up and unsteadily moved forward through the black, bumping into multiple unidentified objects on the way. Finally, I made it to my pink rolly-chair and plopped down. I shook the mouse on my computer a few times until the screen popped up. Squinting for a few minutes until I could fix the brightness, I logged onto chat.

**Kim A. Crawford: **I'm here. What's your _big emergency?_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **KIM! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

**Kim A. Crawford:** YOU WOKE ME UP AT FOUR IN THE MORNING FOR _THAT?!_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Don't say thanks. Just because I _remembered_ your birthday. Jeez.

**Kim A. Crawford:** Jerry?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Yeah?

**Kim A. Crawford:** I. Am. Going. To. _Kill. You._

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** D:

_**JackarateB **__is online_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack? What are you doing here?

**JackarateB: **Jerry told me you were going to physically harm him.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well… I wasn't _really_ gonna kill him. Just kick him where the sun don't shine.

**JackarateB:** Really? And that's any better?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah Kim! Bodily harm? I was just trying to be a good friend and remember your birthday!

_**Milton David Krupnick **__is online_

**Milton David Krupnick: **Why am I here Jerry?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Kim's trying to cause me bodily harm!

**Milton David Krupnick:** And this matters to me because?

**JackarateB: **Jerry, did you text him too?You need to quit texting people!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeah, believe me. People_ don't_ enjoy being woken up at FOUR IN THE MORNING!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Well I'm SORRY! I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well you obviously DON'T THINK THINGS THROUGH!

**JackarateB: **QUIT IT! Both of you! Just stop! We're all tired! We need to stop! Now, Jerry, explain yourself.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **What do you mean? What are we talking about?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Ugh. This is hopeless. I'm going to bed.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **No Kim! STAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!11!11111! D:

**Kim A. Crawford:** Even more incentive for me to leave. UH-GOOOOOODDDDD NIGHTTTTT!

_**Kim A. Crawford **__signed out at 4:13_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Mamacita sure knows how to make a good exit!

**Milton David Krupnick: **I'm with you on that.

**JackarateB:** So… What now…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Welp, I'm off to bed! If you need me, I'm only a text away! MILTONATOR OUT!

_**Milton David Krupnick **__signed out at 4:17_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Miltonator? Ha! Jack, do you think that would be good blackmail?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Jack?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Where are you buddy?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** SOLE-BRO!? WHERE ARE YA DUDE?! I FEEL SO LONELY!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **YOU HAD MY HEART INSIDE, OF YOUR HAND! AND YOU PLAYED IT, YOU PLAYED IT, YOU PLAYED IT!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **TO THE BEAT!

_**JackarateB **__signed out at 4:24_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Aw, really?

**Stupid, stupid Jerry. There are actually a few boys who could be **_**exact **_**twins to him in my gym class. (They say WHOOH when they win, act like him, the whole shebang!) Anyway, my niece is crying! Bye!**


	8. Babysitting Dares

**I haven't had time to write since I've been busy with a whole slew of stuff. AAAAHHHH!**

**Anyway, enough with my little rant.**

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry**__ is online_

_**JackarateB **__is online_

_**Kim A. Crawford **__is online_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hi! I'm watching Aladdin! I love the genie-bug!

**Kim A. Crawford:** Genie-bug?

**JackarateB:** He means when Aladdin is trying to impress Jasmine and Genie's trying to give him advice. Genie turns into a bumble-bee.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack, I'm a little disturbed that you know that. /:

**JackarateB: **It's not _my_ fault that my little sister loves Disney movies! Besides, I grew up on that stuff.

**Kim A. Crawford: **But you still watch them.

**JackarateB: **No. No I don't.

**Kim A. Crawford: **It wasn't a question. I've seen you.

**JackarateB: **O.O _Stalker!_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Wait, what? Kim's a stalker now?

**Kim A. Crawford: **No I'm not!

**JackarateB:** I'm putting up security cameras around my house tomorrow.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Fine. Then I'm not helping you next time you babysit and your sisters' attack.

**JackarateB:** NO! NO KIM! NOOOOOO! I have to babysit tomorrow! D:

**Kim A. Crawford: **And let me guess, you were counting on me to help you.

**JackarateB: **Well… umm… Well umm….

**JackarateB:** I really have no good answer to that.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Thought so. Never helping you again!

**JackarateB:** What?! No! I need you!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Tell you what. Let's make a bet. If you can make it through one night of babysitting by yourself then I will help you babysit every time from then on. _But_ if you don't, _you_ have to treat me to a shopping spree!

**JackarateB: **Me? Treat _you _to a shopping spree? What makes you think I have that kind of money?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Don't you play that game with me! Your family is _LOADED_. Besides, I know for a fact that your weekly allowance is at least $200.

**JackarateB: **See? Stalker!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Excuse me, but I base that off of common sense! Every single week you come in with some useless, expensive, new skater/karate gadget.

**JackarateB:** D: Mean. They're not useless!

**Kim A. Crawford: **They are if you only use them once!

**JackarateB: :**P

**Kim A. Crawford: ***raises eyebrows sarcastically*

**JackarateB: ***grins knowingly*

**Kim A. Crawford: ***slaps the grin off of his face*

**JackarateB:** *sticks tongue out*

**Kim A. Crawford: ***throws hands up in annoyance and exasperation*

**JackarateB: **Sorry to interrupt our little rant, but have you heard from Jerry in a while?

**JackarateB:** JERRY! ARE YOU THERE?!

**JackarateB: **JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!

**JackarateB: **JERRY MEISTER!

**JackarateB: **JERRY MAN!

**JackarateB:** SWAGMASTER!

**JackarateB:** BOY-IN-LOVE-WITH-MANY-GIRLS!

**JackarateB:** PROUD OWNER OF A PENGUIN!

**JackarateB: **MAN, JERRY, DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU!?

**JackarateB:** SPANISH-MASTER! AAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Woah Jack. Calm. Down. Has someone had too much sugar?

**JackarateB: **YES! And that someone is me!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Doesn't anyone know not to give you sugar right before bed time?

**JackarateB: **Kim, you know things you really shouldn't know.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Don't you remember our gummy-worm fight at that sleepover last summer?

**JackarateB: **Oooohhhhhh…. Yeah. Good point.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **STAB THAT SNAKE!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Still watching Aladdin?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!

**JackarateB: **I'll take that as a yes.

**JackarateB: **Anyway, Kim, I'll take that bet! And I will do it ALONE. I'm just that awesome.

**Kim A. Crawford: **No, you're a spineless bowl of jello. I mean, who can't handle two 7-year-old girls?

**JackarateB: **Have you _met _them?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Multiple times. I don't see the big deal. They're sweet girls!

**JackarateB: **So they seem. So they seem…

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack I'm fed up with your stupid fears. I'm leaving.

**JackarateB: **Fine then!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Alright!

**JackarateB:** Fine!

**Kim A. Crawford:** Good. BYE!

_**Kim A. Crawford **__logged off at 9:39_

**JackarateB: **Well HISS to you too Kim!

**JackarateB: **Bye Jerry!

_**JackarateB **__logged off at 9:42_

_Next Day_

_**Kim A. Crawford **__is online_

_**Milton David Krupnick **__is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry **__is online_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hey Milton, I have a question!

**Milton David Krupnick: **I'm scared to ask…

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **How do cows fly over the moon? Because they don't have angel wings. OOOH! I know! They use jetpacks, am I right!?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Oh gosh…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, cows can't fly.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **What?! Eddie lied to me… Oh well. At least we all know that platypuses are a myth.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Uhhhh…

**Milton David Krupnick: **I'm not even going to reply to that.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Wait, where is Eddie? And Jack for that matter? He was done babysitting like 3 hours ago!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jack said something about his grandpa and a car… I don't know what he was talking about.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well I can always text Jack, but where is Eddie?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **He's entering the yearly Seaford Corn Eating contest!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Don't you mean _corn-dog_ eating contest?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **No, I meant what I said.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Well, I'll wish Eddie good luck if I see him. I, on the other hand, can't stand corn. All that horrible stuff gets stuck in your teeth. Yuck! And that sickly yellow color!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, don't let Jack hear you say that.

**Kim A. Crawford: **?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **His favorite color is yellow!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Where do you come up with this stuff?! Jack's favorite color is _green. Forest _green to be exact!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Speaking of Jack, I'm going to text him.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Ok

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I'm bored.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Tough luck. I'm not! I'm learning about an endangered species: Clouded Leopards!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, even during Spring Break you _still_ learn things! Give your brain a break!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Easy for you to say! You've only used your brain as many times as an average boy would stumble into the girl's bathroom!

_**JackarateB **__is online_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hey! I've stumbled into the girl's bathroom a bunch of times!

**JackarateB: **O.o I really didn't need to know that.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Hi Jack! How'd your babysitting session go? *smirks haughtily*

**JackarateB: **Perfectly! It was, well, _magnificent! _

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeah right. *scoffs*

**JackarateB: **Oh Kimmy. Oh Kimmy. You're just a sore loser.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Oh Jackie. If you keep calling me that, you are going to end up in the HOSPITAL.

**JackarateB: **Ah contraire!

**Kim A. Crawford: **You're stupid.

**JackarateB: **We both know that you're just a sore loser!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Grrrr… You better watch it Jack. Just because I have to help you watch your sisters doesn't mean that I can't put you in the hospital.

_**Kim A. Crawford **__logged off at 4:25_

_The next day:_

_**Kim A. Crawford **__is online_

_**JackarateB **__is online_

"_**The Playa" Eddie **__is online_

**Kim A. Crawford: **BREWER! You're dirty rotten liar!

**JackarateB:** Ready for tonight Kimmy?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **What's going on?

**Kim A. Crawford: **There isn't going to be any 'tonight' Jack. I found out your little secret.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **What? What secret? Are you two going out? (;

**Kim A. Crawford: **NO EDDIE! How many times do we have to tell you that?!

**JackarateB: **Seriously dude. We've told you at least 102 times, and counting.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Besides, I would never even _think_ about going out with such a two-faced, lying, back stabbing little… you know, I'm thinking about some words that no one should really have to look at, so I just won't put them down.

**Kim A. Crawford: **But just so we're clear, I HATE YOU JACKSON!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Dude, what did you _do?!_

**JackarateB: **Beats me. Oh wait… *puts finger to chin in mock thought* I WON THE BET!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeah, won by CHEATING!

**JackarateB: **You. Have. No. Proof.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Guys, I'm really confused. Like, Jerry confused. Wow. How does Jerry live like this?! O:

**JackarateB: **How did I cheat, _Kimmy? _Cause I've still won the bet if there's no proof against me! (;

**Kim A. Crawford: **Oh you'll get your evidence Brewer. You'll get it real soon.

_3 days later_

_**JackarateB **__is online_

_**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry **__is online_

_**Kim A. Crawford **__is online_

"_**The Playa" Eddie **__is online_

_**Milton David Krupnick **__is online_

**JackarateB: **What the heck Kim?! Where were you today? I had the evil twins _and_ the little devils that I have to call my cousins! ALL IN ONE DAY! I repeat, WHAT THE HECK KIM?!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Ok, you guys have serious problems. You've been yelling at each other for a week. I'm leaving before I get caught up in this - *shudder* - _drama._

_**Milton David Krupnick**__ logged off at 8:53_

**Kim A. Crawford: **You are a fool Jack. An utter fool.

**JackarateB: **How?

**JackarateB:** In fact, it doesn't even matter. You didn't show up! Who does that?!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Dude. Cool it. You're acting like she ditched you on a date or something. No reason to get mad.

**Kim A. Crawford: **No, no… It's half right. Jack has a reason to be mad. Just not the reason you're thinking of.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Well Jack?

**JackarateB: **Well what?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **You know. What's your reason for being mad?

**JackarateB:** Isn't it obvious?! _She ditched me with little, evil, pitiless children! FOR 4 FREAKIN HOURS! Do you know what they did to me?!_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Uh… I'd rather not find out, thx.

**JackarateB:** Oh, you're going to hear it anyway! First. They rigged the stairs with a huge bucket of red goo! GOO!

**Kim A. Crawford:** Jack, that's not the reason.

**JackarateB:** And, before someone asks, no, _I _didn't trigger it. My dog did.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack, can we focus?

**JackarateB: **Do you know how _long_ that dog's fur is? And how _white?!_ She's still dyed blood-red!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Jack, are you done yet?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Sigh.

**JackarateB: **Eddie, I've got like 50 other stories.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Hey, I just realized that Jerry's logged in… but he's not saying anything, which is unusual. Usually his stupidity would have been showing in misspelled words or stupid questions by now.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Oh yeah. Well, we were on Rudy's computer last night and a popup add came up for saltine crackers. Jerry screamed and ran. The screen's now stuck on his chat page.

**JackarateB:** That's kinda ironic…

**JackarateB: **But it doesn't beat the horror Kim set me up to!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Kim, can you just tell the kid where you were so we can stop dwelling on HIS STUPID BABYSITTING?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeesh. Ok, fine. Gosh.

**Kim A. Crawford: **So there I was. Four days ago. In Trueman's dad's office.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **What in the world where you doing there?!

**Kim A. Crawford: **I'm getting there! So, I was asking Trueman for a favor since, you know, I have _connections. _(; Anyway, I snagged one of his 'prize' video cameras (which is really a bedazzled Kodak camera) and set it up in a tree in Jack's yard, and hit record.

**JackarateB:** I knew you were a stalker! HA! I WAS SO RIGHT!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **How did you get Trueman to do you a favor anyway?

**Kim A. Crawford: **I told you Eddie. I have my connections.

**Kim A. Crawford: **_Anyway,_ I grabbed the camera 4 days ago, and guess what I saw?

**JackarateB: ***gulp* Is it too early to say, 'this isn't what it looks like?'

**Kim A. Crawford: **Actually, it's a little too _late._

"**The Playa" Eddie: **K, so what did you see?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Oh yeah. First, quietness. His parents left for a birthday party. And then I saw it. A sleek, red convertible pulled up and Jack's sisters ran out to it. Imagine the surprise I felt when I saw that it was _Jack's grandpa._ And then, since the camera could zoom into the window, I saw Jack, dancing on the couch. After that it was pretty boring. He ordered pizza. Actually two pizzas. Who eats two pizzas Jack?! And then I saw some very interesting things…

"**The Playa" Eddie: **What?

**JackarateB: **Kim… Don't you dare…

**Kim A. Crawford: ***creases forehead and taps chin* Hmm… I'm seem to recall someone making out with a Carrie Underwood pillow.

**JackarateB: **KIM!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Ok, I am _so_ taking a screenshot and sending it to Jerry!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Anyway, the fact is, Jack Brewer, you owe me a shopping spree! :D

**JackarateB: **Well crap.

**And there you go folks. There you have it. If it wasn't funny… I'M SORRY!**


	9. Lalalalalala

**Wow… I'm **_**REALLY **_**late. And when I say '**_**REALLY**_**' I mean **_**REALLLLLLYYYYYYY. **_**I'm probably late on my apologies but… SORRY DON'T KILL ME!**

**You've probably all given up on this fanfic by now. I know. I'm horrible. And school starts in eleven days, so I'm **_**really**_** horrible. And I'll be visiting family on like five of those days, so I'm REALLY HORRIBLE!**

**Btw, there are two A/N's scattered in here. MAKE. SURE. TO. READ. THEM.**

**There were fireworks going on outside my window last night. **

**Anyhow, have fun my darlings!**

_September 3__rd__:_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Hey guys, I _cannot_ wait for the talent show tomorrow!

**JackarateB: **I know! We don't have to go to sixth _or_ seventh hour! Which means I don't have to do my Biology crossword or any math tonight! Can tomorrow get any better!?

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jack, tomorrow hasn't even started yet. A million things could happen. You could skateboard off of a cliff. You could break your spine doing Pilates. Ryan could make off with Kim, and Kim could beat him up, landing her in jail, which you would have to bail you out of. Speaking of Kim, she could beat you at Karate. Your little sister could spray paint your room red. The list goes on and on, really.

**JackarateB: **She better not touch my room! I hate red!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **How can you hate red dude?! It's like my favorite color!

**JackarateB: **Jerry, think about it. Last summer, Kool-Aid, my friend, and a wild demon dog.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Why do I feel like when you say, 'my friend', that you're talking about your hair?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Oh yeah dude! That was epic! :D It was so hilarious when you tried to get away from that puppy Lisa and you accidently ran out of the cabin in your 'Agent P' boxers!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Say what now? Jack watches Phineas and Pherb?!

**JackarateB: **What Kim? Does that somehow surprise you in some way?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Woah Jack, don't get all defensive. You just don't strike me like the Disney Channel type. Even though you did admit to watching My Little Pony once…

**JackarateB: **Ok, that was on a dare with my four-year-old cousin! Not my fault!

**Kim A. Crawford: **You're right. It's not your fault that you can lose Monopoly to a _four year old!_

**JackarateB: **Anyway, why are you excited for the big talent show?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Fine Jack. Change the subject. See if _I_ care.

**Kim A. Crawford: **I'm singing a song I wrote!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Kim, I didn't know you wrote songs! Or sang!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Singing is a past time. I didn't start writing songs until two years ago when my first boyfriend broke up with me.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Ah, that's so sad girlie! Tell me all the deets!

**JackarateB: **Kim, you sound like a wanna-be Taylor Swift.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hey, I like Taylor Swift!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Yeah, she's pretty hot, if ya know what I mean. (;

**Milton David Krupnick: **Eddie, you said what you meant, right there in the text. But I agree. Taylor Swift has some really good music.

**Kim A. Crawford: **You guys are all creeping me out…

**JackarateB: **Yeah, can we get on another subject? Preferably something less… bizarre?

"**The Playa" Eddie:** Ok, well isn't there gonna be some short play during the talent show?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Yeah, Milton made up the script.

**JackarateB: **And he made me audition.

**Kim A. Crawford: **He made _both_ of us audition.

**JackarateB: **Ugh.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hey Milton? I have a question.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Sigh.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **In the script, why did you change all of my lines to alien words?

**Kim A. Crawford: **What? When did this happen? Milton, we didn't get the rewrites!

**JackarateB: **Like we really care.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Be nice Jack! Wasn't it _you_ who was, not only a few months ago, inspiring _me_ to help my friends?!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah Jack! You're a hypocrite!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, how do you know what that word _means,_ let alone how to use it in a sentence?

'**The Playa' Eddie: **Oh, I taught him that.

**Milton David Krupnick: **I'm proud Eddie. I'm very proud.

**(A/N: Hey guys, I put multiple lines from different TV shows, books, YouTube videos, etc. If you find all, or at least a few, of them and put where they're from in the reviews, then I might send you a bonus thingie/chapter! Yay!)**

_September 4__th__:_

'**The Playa' Eddie:** So the play was… good…

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **No it wasn't! Dude, it sucked! I was laughing through the whole thing!

**JackarateB: **Jerry, Kim punched Donald in the jaw, which in turn made him reel back and crush my foot, breaking most of my toes. Then she caught Lindsay's dress on fire. And _then_ in the background a foghorn blew, _totally_ drowning out Julie's _only line_. As we can all imagine, that did _not_ make her too happy. Milton yelled as us for twenty long minutes. _He only took like three breaths the whole time!_

**JackarateB: **And you were _in_ the play Jerry!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I know dude! You look funny when you're screeching in pain! And I had front row seats until my scene came on!

'**The Playa' Eddie: **Wait, since when does the drama department have a foghorn?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Oh, that was me.

**JackarateB: **So. It. Was. _You._

**Kim A. Crawford: **Was that a threat Jack?

**JackarateB: **…

**JackarateB: **Just tell me why you had to blow that horn. It made Milton jump clear out of his tights. And that is _not_ a pretty sight.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well I was backstage, minding my own business, when _Riley Farnsworth_ had to come over and start hitting on me.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **I thought you liked Riley Farnsworth.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Okay, _no_ Eddie. I do _not_ like him. Don't you remember? Last year he was the mascot? I drop-kicked him? Ring any bells?!

**JackarateB: **Yeah, whatever Kim. Go on.

**Kim A. Crawford: **The rest is pretty obvious.

"**The Playa" Eddie:** ?...

**Kim A. Crawford:** Well, you can hear this blow horn half a mile away. And I put it right over his ear.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **That's janked up. But YOW GIRL! Mamacita has taken some self-defense lessons toni-i-i-i-ight!

**JackarateB:** Jerry, we need to work on the words that come out of your mouth.

**JackarateB: **Wait, you aren't planning on using that on me, right Kim? How long have you had that thing?

**Kim A. Crawford:** First, I make no promises Jack. :D Just keep your hands to yourself during karate practice. Second, silly Jack! My dad gave that to me as soon as I started hanging out with you boys! In fact, I've already used it on Jerry!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Wait, that's what woke me up last week, Eddie! When I fell off the bleachers onto Maria's clay sculpture of a turtle? Remember?

'**The Playa' Eddie:** I remember Jerry, I remember. I also remember that you now owe me and Milton both 20 bucks since you said it was a magical time-traveling coyote, and then bet on it. It's actually a little surprising that you're _that_ stupid.

**Milton David Krupnick: **It really isn't that surprising. Now give me my 20 dollars Jerry!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** The universe just _loves_ to prove me wrong.

**Kim A. Crawford: **You make it too easy! :D

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hahaha… XD Jack's blushing.

**Kim A. Crawford: **How can you see Jack?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Uh, duh Kim, you live on one side of him, I on the other! He's in his living room. I'm in my living room. And neither of us have the shades drawn yet.

"**The Playa" Eddie:** Why is he blushing?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I don't know dude, but his face is as red as that sauce stuff my mom put on our pizza last night.

**Milton David Krupnick: **You mean pizza sauce?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah dude! :D

"**The Playa" Eddie: **That doesn't answer the question. Why is Jack blushing?

**JackarateB: **I'M NOT BLUSHING!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Whoah dude, don't get all defensive on me. Btw, if you're not blushing, why is your face getting brighter?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **WAIT! Am I seeing the light? Did I doze off and die in my sleep?! IS YOUR LIVING ROOM WINDOW THE ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN? Am I going to see my dead dog Snoogums again?!

**Milton David Krupnick: **I'm going to ignore the delusional boy in the corner.

**(Btw, virtual Oreos to anyone that can guess why Jack was blushing.)**

_September 6__th__:_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Ok, I'm a little creeped out right now.

**JackarateB: **?

**Kim A. Crawford: **K, so this girl named Rebecca just texted me. First of all, I don't know how she got my number, second, I have _no clue_ who the heck she is, and third she texted me a really weird message that reads: "I heard you went out with Lucas. Well he's _mine._ And now I'm _loco-crazy._"

**JackarateB: **Um… Who's this Lucas kid?

**Kim A. Crawford: **That's really all you're worried about?! Who the heck is Rebecca and HOW DOES SHE KNOW ME!?

**JackarateB: **I dunno, but maybe if you hadn't been going out with this _Lucas,_ who you _still_ haven't told me about, then she wouldn't be all mean to you!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jack would you get your priorities straight?! I DON'T KNOW A LUCAS! GOSH! AND THAT'S NOT REALLY THE ISSUE HERE!

**JackarateB:** You say that _now._

**Kim A. Crawford: **WHAT THE FREAK ARE YOU ON JACK?!

_September 8__th__:_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Jaaaaaackkkkk! D:

**JackarateB: **Why are you whining at me over the internet?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Your stupid friends stole my dirt bike!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Jerry, did you just call me stupid?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **We didn't even touch your dirt bike!

**Milton David Krupnick: **I didn't even know you _had _a dirt bike.

**Kim A. Crawford: **That's beside the point. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Calm down Chica! I wasn't talking about you!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Please don't think Jack is friends with the singing chipmunks, please don't think Jack is friends with the singing chipmunks…

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I'm talking about Ryan. He's so mean! D: Why are you friends with him Jack?!

**JackarateB: **I'm not…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Yeah, that friendship ended when he made plans to woo and marry our friend Kimberly here.

**Kim A. Crawford: **You just _had_ to remind me, didn't you.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Would you rather I talk about that time when Joan's shorts flew off?

**Kim A. Crawford: **O.o *shudder* That's a close one…

"**The Playa" Eddie: **So what's your plan Jerry?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **For what?

**JackarateB: **Um… your dirt bike?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **OH!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **…

**Kim A. Crawford: **Well what are you going to do!? Yeesh! Talk already!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Calm down Mamacita! I'm going to make him an offer that he can't refuse.

**JackarateB: **And what will that be?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **I dunno. I was hoping Kimmy could help me out on that. ;)

**Kim A. Crawford:** WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME KIMMY!?

**Kim A. Crawford:** Wait a minute. That had dirty context, didn't it.

**Kim A. Crawford:** I'M NOT MAKING OUT WITH RYAN SO YOU CAN GET YOUR STUPID DIRT BIKE BACK!

_September 11__th__:_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **I fell off a four-wheeler yesterday and MY KNEE STILL STINGS!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Oh that's nothing! ;D

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **One time, my cousin was in Vegas and he fell out of a fourth story hotel window and landed on the roof of a shuttle bus.

**Milton David Krupnick: **And he was ok?

**JackarateB: **Did you have to ask?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Jack, I can't help but feel like you're a bit snippety today.

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Oh, Jack's been all snippety since he found out that babe Lura is dating Braxton.

**Milton David Krupnick: **First of all, it's _Laura,_ learn how to spell, and second of all, I thought that they broke up yesterday! They had a screaming match in music class.

**JackarateB: **Really?!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Alright Sparky, here's the deal. If ya wanna court the little lady ya gotta be a straight shooter, do ya got it?

"**The Playa" Eddie: **You're point?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Why is it that every inspiring speech has to have a point?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Ok guys, _just remind him of Laura!_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** What's got your hair all in a twist?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Last week when his 'epic plan to get Laura' failed, he was moping about it to me for a freaking _week! I don't want to go through that again!_

"**The Playa" Eddie: **C'mon Kim. That's not the only reason. (;

**Kim A. Crawford: **Eddie, you _don't know anything!_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Kim, it's obvious. Jack took your stuffed gorilla named Kicky and you want it back. It's ok. One time my cousin Pepito peed all over my unicorn Mr. Tickles and we had to… operate… You'll get through it Kim! JUST BE STRONG!

**Kim A. Crawford: **…

**Kim A. Crawford: **No, Jerry. Jack did not steal any stuffed gorillas.

**Kim A. Crawford: **How do you even know about Kicky?

_September 17__th__:_

**Kim A. Crawford: **Do you realize that we got dared by our _teacher_ today?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **When did this happen? What did she dare us to do, yo? Man, I must have been spacing.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, you need help.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Look at the bright side Milton! He was speaking in complete sentences today!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **WHOOH! You bet I was! I _OWN_ complete sentences!

**JackarateB: **_Anyway, _back to the matter at hand. Mrs. Condie said that we have to learn how to skateboard correctly.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **That sounds really stupid.

**Milton David Krupnick: **Sure does. Remember what happened to Rudy? He lost a tooth! THEY HAD TO HAVE IT SURGICALLY REPLACED! WITH A SYNTHETICALLY-MADE CERAMIC TOOTH!

**Kim A. Crawford: **Woah, there Milton. Calm your nerdiness _down,_ or you won't have any left for when you get together with your Mathlete buddies.

**Kim A. Crawford: **Anyway, we're supposed to learn the basic form and all that crap. You get one partner.

**JackarateB: **You forgot to mention, if one person in your duo can do a flip or a jump, you get extra-cred. (:

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry:** Yo, just cause she's the PE teach doesn't mean that she can order us around! What does PE even stand for? Pretzel Elephant?

**Kim A. Crawford: **Whaaat…?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Ya know. A large, gray, pretzel with a fuzzy trunk and big floppy ears! Dipped in peanut-sauce! It's actually really good! But the eyes are kinda squishy…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Erm…

**Milton David Krupnick: **Whatever. Anyway, if we really have to learn how to ride that death-machine-with-wheels, I call Jack!

"**The Playa" Eddie: **You had Jack for the _last project _in PE! Let someone else have a turn!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Yeah dude! Don't be such a hog!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Jerry, what are you on? You get him more than all of us combined!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Not true! Kim gets him more!

**Kim A. Crawford: **No I don't! I wasn't even in your PE class until the start of second semester!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Kim, LYING ISN'T THE ANSWER!

**JackarateB: **HEY HEY HEY! You guys can't just call me! I am _not_ the front seat in your mom's minivan.

**JackarateB: **Besides, I pick Kim. At least with her I can double the extra credit (;

**Kim A. Crawford: **Okay, fine, but if you're going to pick the flips we do, I get to pick what we do during karate practice tomorrow. And just a warning, we'll be hard-core sparring. So get your muscles ready for a dang hard work out.

**JackarateB: **Never let it be said that Prince Jackson Richard Brewer denied the request of a beautiful lady. (;

**Milton David Krupnick: **OHMIGOSH, OHMIGOSH, OHMIGOSH!

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Dude, stop fan-girling about Kick.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **Yeah. We all know that Jack just called Kim beautiful. We also know that his face is probably now red, as we also know Kim will be signing out in 3, 2, 1;

_**Kim A. Crawford**__ signed out at 8:31_

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Hey Jack! I know what you can do to fix this!

**Milton David Krupnick: **Oh no. Oh please no.

**JackarateB: **And, pray tell, what would that be, Jerry?

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Tell. Her. The. TRUTH!

**JackarateB: **No way! If Kim found out I've been crushing on her for almost two years, well, she'd laugh at me.

**Milton David Krupnick:** Jerry surprisingly has a point. You really need to be straight with her. You can't just go around throwing words like 'beautiful' at her and not expect her to become suspicious, or, at the very least, confused.

"**The Playa" Eddie: **And now Jack will be signing out to either apologize for an unknown reason and/or lie about the meaning of his words in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1;

_**JackarateB**__ signed out at 8:34_

**Milton David Krupnick: **Wow Eddie. That was surprisingly perceptive. Good job. Jack really needs another pep-talk though. Maybe I'll look into that for tomorrow…

**The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: **Wait- so Jack's a Prince now?

**TA DA! Yeah, I'm not gonna bore you with how I think this sucks. I do that **_**every. Single. Time.**_

**And now it's time for you to GUESS THAT LINE!**

**Seriously.**

**So as I said before, there are some lines from different TV shows, YouTube videos, and books.**

**So if you see one that you think you know, just tell me who said it – Kim, Jack, Eddie, Jerry, or Milton – and what the line is from.**

**Then, if you get a few right, I will send you a magical bonus chap. (:**

**Peace out, and good luck.**


	10. AN You Should Prob Read

**OK! Guys! I am so effing mad right now!**

**Sorry I haven't sent the bonus chap out yet… so sorry…**

**I'VE BEEN SO BUSY! I swear, the end of summer is the most HORRIBLE TIME to try and write. Ugh. Because the end of summer is when we just keep going on trips. And more trips. And MORE TRIPS!**

**Yeah. So tomorrow night we are leaving to go two states away and visit my mother's parents. Then when we get back school starts! Yay! (NOT.)**

**So I will try to get it sent out to you people tomorrow, but if I don't, I will try to see if I can get internet at my grandparents.**

**Sigh.**

**Thank you guys for the reviews, by the way. (: And thank you for being so patient with my randomness.**


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